Creating Your OWN Path!

Wednesday musings...the beginning of the American Thanksgiving weekend!

This subject has come up again and again in my own life and on my journey as an artist and human being. It seems to be an ongoing discussion with many of you in different manifestations so I thought I'd bring it to light and thought here...

You can't take anybody with you. And you can't ride somebody else's coat-tails.

Simply put, your path and your journey and your career is about YOU. This does not make it selfish or self-centered in a negative way. Your research, development, your relationships, your sensibilities, your pursuits are YOURS.

Being an artist, pursuing a career being an artist and "becoming" an artist takes investment on all levels. The success of that investment varies, but ultimately it has been claimed by the artist him/herself. No one can claim unless he/she has done the work to get there.

Often, we are generous, thoughtful and caring human beings, and so when someone asks for our help, we tend to give it, and share what we know and what we have. There is nothing wrong with that impetus, however, is shouldn't cost us anything.

Generosity is given when it doesn't cost the giver to give it. Those of you who hold that "it" factor will always draw to you people who want to possess it. They haven't figured out how to develop their OWN path, and so they will create a faux-path by trying to latch on to yours. Often, these people don't have that "it" factor, have a false sense of entitlement, expect and demand more than they are willing to seek for themselves, and have a false sense of their own abilities. They will try to latch on, or copy you, or manipulate you for information that will not enhance, but inhibit.

I am not saying be wary and suspicious of anybody and everybody who asks you a question! I am saying, be aware of your own path and what it takes to be on it. If sharing information doesn't cost you anything on your journey, share it. If encouraging a fellow artist through word or deed doesn't cost you a step, then encourage. But don't do it without seeing first.

If you have done your research and study and ongoing development, and are getting out there and DOING, and an artist expects/asks/demands to know, to borrow, to take things/contacts/information they have not gone out to get for themselves - then back off. This will cost you. It is up to THEM to discover their OWN information. It is up to EACH of us to discover and create our OWN path.

If someone tries to do everything you do - it can be flattering at first, but then it can become very clear that it is imitation and not flattery. You must retreat from this is. It will cost you too much.

The grays are often murky as this is never black nor white. As artists we are always growing and evolving, and what started out as two people who seemed on the same level can change quickly, and you leave the other person behind. Perhaps they aren't as naturally talented; perhaps they just don't want it as much as you do; perhaps your next level demands more than they are willing or able to find in themselves. It is okay. Nobody has done anything wrong. But you cannot take them with you. YOU must continue to strive for YOUR excellence. They must find their own. What gets murky, is that we often forge more than just professional relationships, but personal ones. Can we separate them enough to allow for the friendship and the professional path and creative process to be individual?

If we are true to our path, we MUST do it. If the friendship has so little to anchor it that it cannot withstand the individual's choice to find his/her artistic development, then that friendship is not feeding both people! Then again, it is costing one more than the other.

Don't just give it away!!! What you have learned, and the professional assets you have established are for YOU until you are at a point in your career that it doesn't cost YOU anything to share them. And then, know who you are sharing them with!! Your reputation is also augmented or diminished by how you share and what you share and with whom you share it!

You can say "no" with grace. You can suggest to someone who keeps asking, or following you, or imitating you that they start to discover who they are and what they have to offer on their own. You can suggest a discussion of teachers or classes or agents or, or, or...once that other person has done the preliminary research to find out what is out there and comes with his/her own information!

Just because you are "friends" does not mean you have to share assets. And anybody who says "come on, you are my friend" is giving you the biggest red flag of all. Friendship is friendship; business is business; Your career belongs to YOU and everything you bring to it and develop with it and for it is yours. It is NOT up for grabs by people who are too lazy/scared/entitled to get out there and create their own path!

Your career path needs you to be focused on YOU and not worried about someone else. Baggage is baggage and we all carry enough of that!!! We do not need to be worried about dragging somebody else along who doesn't belong just by the nature of dragging!!! Let them find their own way. Their own way is best for them. Your way is best for you. If you need to make changes then do it. Do it with human respect and kindness, but do it.

YOU CANNOT TAKE ANYONE WITH YOU. Pure and simple. Career is solo. It has to be that way.

YOU CANNOT RIDE THE COAT TAILS OF SOMEONE ELSE. You need to find your own life, your own path and develop your own talent and your abilities. You need to discover what you do well, and not what you can take from someone else.

At the end of the day - the house lights will dim, and the spot will slowly light you on that stage. You either deliver or you don't. You cannot claim what you do not yet own. You cannot blame on someone else something that does not belong to them.

It is YOUR path. You choose it. You create it. You pursue it.

You and only you are responsible to develop it and nurture the relationships along the way. Sometimes you walk parallel with another, and then the paths fork. Sometimes the paths cross. Sometimes they move in totally different directions. Enjoy YOUR path.

Be generous when it doesn't cost you anything to be so; know what that means at all the different moments in your career; don't apologize if you cannot be generous with certain things at certain times because it puts you in jeopardy.

Discover what YOUR path needs. Don't try to be something you are not or someone you are not. You are enough. Whatever that path is, get on it - time is wasting!!

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NATS and Music Theatre

Sunday rant...

NATS - The National Association of Teachers of Singing - is actually an international organization to which I belong.

As I was offered some information from different chapters on their definitions of Music Theatre singing, I am beginning to wonder why I belong and may have to rethink my membership, or they should hire me to educate their obviously very poorly informed teachers in certain circumstances!!

NATS offers "student auditions" - basically a vocal competition set up by age group and adjudicated by other members of NATS and voice teachers looking to join.

Here is a template so you see what I mean:

http://www.mddcnats.org/auditions/pdf/repertoire_chart.pdf

All looks great huh? What a fabulous opportunity for singers to try out repertoire - both classical and MT - and get some feedback!

Could be...the idea is good...BUT...

Then we look further into the DEFINITION of Music Theatre singing and the requirements, and Susan sees RED!!!

Here's the document I saw - from the Mid-Atlantic Region of NATS -

http://www.ncnats.org/auditions/pdf/Music_Theatre_Category_Revisions_Information_for_NATS_members_for_website_2008.pdf

When I first read it I thought "This can't be serious", and then I realized of COURSE it is serious!!! It is an ORGANIZATION imposing LANGUAGE on its membership to make it look as if they know what they are talking about. Obviously when you know about vocal behavior and know the styles of Music Theatre, and know how to build a voice from the physical and behavioral aspect, this becomes an absolute disgrace!!

This, my dear snowflakes (!) is why it is IMPERATIVE that you understand your voice - and how it functions, how it is built, why it does what it does, and get your terminology CORRECT as it pertains to your balance. Otherwise, documents like this will scare you to death, or even more accurately, confuse the hell out of you!

And not just singers - teachers too. I am sure that at least HALF the teachers reading this document and using it as a guide for their students don't understand the terminology and will mis-interpret what is written here. And I'm being generous when I say half.

There are MANY so-called teachers hanging out a shingle saying "voice lessons available here" who should be working retail at the mall. Or selling Avon or Amway or something else. A little knowledge or a nice voice or a voice degree isn't ENOUGH to make you a teacher of voice and be responsible for the development of someone else's instrument! Just as the ads that say "Learn to sing in 4 easy lessons" or "learn to belt like the stars", so documents like this show absolute disregard to the style and genre and craft of singing.

I am VEHEMENT in my opinion about this and will NOT apologize for what I do and what I see others are NOT doing. And I will NOT back down. And if NATS decides they want to revoke my membership, then fine, do so, but I believe this needs to be addressed - and publicly. Not within the "preciousness" and safety of the NATS organization!

In this document, there are many vocal science terms. If you are going to use vocal science then please know what you are talking about!!! It has NEVER been established that vocal science or ANY science is EXACT and therefore constant enquiry is NECESSARY to acquire full knowledge.

By using CT muscle or TA muscle dominant means NOTHING!!! What you are actually doing is promoting an imbalanced instrument!!! The whole point of vocal behavior NO MATTER WHAT STYLE OR GENRE IT SINGS is to be BALANCED which means CT and TA muscles share and pass dominance to each other depending on where the singer is singing - tessitura, range, and stylistic information. Anything else is imbalanced vocal production.

CLASSICAL musical theatre which uses middle voice primarily, needs balanced use of both CT and TA muscles to develop even resonance. Why not just use the term "Classical" Music Theatre with emphasis on a balanced voice?

Gershwin et al is still CLASSICAL not "non-legit"!!!!

If an INTERNATIONAL PROFESSIONAL organization can't get it right, how can we expect our singers to understand?!?!??!?!

I see ultimately, that these organizations are afraid to use the word "belt". I see why. They don't know how to use the other words either.

Music Theatre is as large a genre as Classical music. Therefore, you need to subdivide by era - which I will acknowledge has been done - and leave the other complications alone. By adding science and muscles just confuses the issue because it has no reason for being there! Specify the ERA and the COMPOSERS and talk about singing with a balanced and well developed instrument that you sing with so STYLE INFORMS TONE!!!!

I also have issues with the "characteristics of belt" in this document and how it is "translated" -

Belt is not controversial if it is understood and developed correctly. Belt is not spread, not breathy, not nasal - belt is focused, informed by style and physicality, and is done with an OPEN throat. Closed throat, nasal, unfocused and breathy tone is POOR SINGING no matter WHAT style is being sung.

A balanced vocal instrument has the POTENTIAL to sing ANY style if the style informs the instrument. To think otherwise is simply not true. A singer may find that his/her physicality cannot take on a style authentically - from belt to opera to early music to R&B - or find their psyche is not suited to said style, for many other reasons. But the INSTRUMENT must be solid and balanced and built!!

TRUE BELT is not controversial - and is sung with focused tone, and open throat. Vowel choices inform the balance of resonance which in turn leads to stylistic integrity and traditional authenticity.

In this above attached document, there are certain things that are redeemable - however, there are many things that are simply incorrect. Using the terms "legit" and "non-legit" are not clear; Do we use "non-legit" anymore? I think Music Theatre has begun to get more specific as to what is required show to show. Here's the irony - Legit means nothing, if it doesn't have a context. Belting is LEGIT if it's done in balance and correctly. Opera means nothing if it doesn't have a context. Saying you are an opera singer doesn't mean you can sing ANY opera. Specificity is NECESSARY to develop full understanding of what style and genre is and what is requires.

What disturbs me (!!) about documents like this, is that it couches certain truths within an academic vocabulary that is not specific enough to give clarity to what is being required. This is dangerous. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Why not stay with what you do well instead of introducing an entire genre and tradition that you know little about?

Throwing around some truths, with vocal terminology and some absolutely incorrect information does not promote excellence. It promotes confusion, and segregation. And who will "evaluate" these singers who are entering this competition? Can they truly be evaluated honestly if this is the document the teachers/judges are reading?

Vocal science is only one part of the equation. The stylistic information and genre and tradition of music is absolutely imperative for performance. Physical behavior and stylistic information has to live together in order to create a truth in performance.

As an international association, NATS has to be more responsible!

Scientists and teachers can spout terminology all they want, but they need to know how it works!!! They need to be able to DO IT and DEMONSTRATE IT and know how to FIND IT in their singers by understanding the instrument fully. They need to be continually researching, asking questions, developing, discovering... Science is constantly developing. Pedagogy is constantly being challenged and developing. So must we as singers, as teachers and as organizations that are there to support both.

Learn and discover and hold yourself and organizations responsible for what they know and what they SAY they know.

Whether it's NATS, a university, a college, a production company, a teacher, a coach or YOU - challenge, ask, and LEARN!!! Explore and FIND the truth. Don't assume. Don't back down.

Hiding behind terminology or the safety of an organization or some other "business" or institution, is not staying true to good singing and building true instruments. It's hiding. It's okay to say "I don't know; I don't have the answer" - honesty opens us to finding the answer!!!

If you see bullshit, don't be afraid to call it that. Don't be afraid to say I don't know. And then, don't be afraid to get excited and DISCOVER the answers!!!

None of us have all the answers - that's what makes our journey so exciting!!! Constantly learning and discovering and developing: That is what artistry is.

Don't be afraid to ask why. I ask why all the time!!!

I am asking why in this blog. On many levels. And I may get answers or I may not. I know one thing: I will not WAIT on those answers. I will go out and GET THEM.

What Singing is NOT

Saturday rant...

After watching Show Business: The Road to Broadway again last night so many blog entries emerged!!!!

I am so sick and tired of what Music Theatre deems as good singing!!! And how terminology is thrown around and not understood - by casting nor by so-called singers!!

There was a time on Broadway when singers from the Met and City Opera regularly appeared on Broadway, and often, vice versa.

Alas, you'd be hard pressed to find that anymore!! What was once a normal activity would now be considered a speciality item!

WHY?!?!? And don't spout "style" to me - style informs the tone. If the instrument is built well and the voice can move into a style, and the singer has studied and recognizes what the style demands, it can be done.

Oh right. A built instrument. A studied singer. KNOWLEDGE. INDIVIDUALITY.

So what is singing NOT?

Good singing is not breathiness, closed throat, wobbly jaw; good singing is not nasality; good singing is not pushing, yelling or screaming; good singing does not produce muscle tension; good singing does not fray the voice and create large "breaks" and no phonation;

Good singing is not about imitation!!!!! Good singing is not about trying to sound like another singer!!!!!

REAL SINGING means TIME in order to discover YOUR instrument and what it does and how to build it into balance in order for it to take on the demands of a style you choose and a character that you choose to develop. REAL SINGING means discovering the TRUTH about what your instrument can do and why it does that so you can work within the physicality of that instrument and deliver a uniqueness to what you do artistically.

REAL SINGING means an athleticism of your physical body - grounded, supported, elasticized, energized and focused. REAL SINGING means a tangibility of breath energy. REAL SINGING demands truth and authenticity not imitation and copycat cookie cutout.

Singers - and I am talking mainly Music Theatre here - quit trying to copy and pretend!!!! YOU CAN CHANGE THE BUSINESS by bringing in an authentic instrument!!!! Make the business pay attention to YOU not what you can copy!!

AND STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Learn about your voice, develop it, find all its possibilities and then inform it with the music you prepare. Know what it can do and how it can do it; Know what it can't do and treat that with respect too.

If you don't know your instrument and get it healthy and working and sing well, you will be gone before you get started. Nobody is going to look after that instrument but you. You are part of the equipment in this business. When you break, you will be replaced. YOU HAVE TO CARE!!!!

Find a teacher who really understands the voice and how to build it. Don't look at the bright and shiny ads that say "learn to sing is 4 easy lessons" - there is no thing as a quick fix with singing. We are working for longevity and muscle strength and power. We are working for tangible physicality and athleticism. Training muscles takes TIME, PATIENCE, ENDURANCE, FOCUS and GUTS. If you aren't willing to invest in yourself this way, then perhaps you are in the wrong business. Seriously. Because even if you have talent and a pretty sound, it will only last so long without the training necessary to develop it.

Find your voice - truly and authentically!!! SING WITH IT!!! When true and real voices begin to emerge, they touch people. And even without vocabulary, people respond positively to them. And then, pretty soon, the breathy, nasal, tight, poorly produced voices don't seem good anymore (!!!) and real voices begin singing again...

LEARN TO SING WELL!!!!!!! Don't cop out on yourself, and don't copy out on the music. You are doing a disservice to both when you settle for less that what is required and less than what you are truly able to develop.

GO GET IT!!!!!!!!!!

Are You Pushy or are you Networking?

Friday musings...

Many singers and performers I talk with are concerned about this fine line - and what is this fine line between networking and keeping your name out there and being pushy and overbearing and getting in your own way?

First, no one is going to know you or hire you and pay attention to you if you don't put yourself out there. Nobody is getting jobs or acknowledgement sitting in their apartments wishing they were working!!! You gotta get out there! You gotta put yourself out there!!

You have to been seen, and you have to follow up. Our business and our world is small - there are less than 6 degrees of separation! We have to be willing to be accessible and available and follow through and follow up.

Accessible and available does not mean in your face. In your face is pushy and annoying. Pushy and annoying is dismissed and you've become a liability to your career, not an asset.

So how do you find the balance between too much and too little? How do you get noticed and recognized and keep your name/face in the minds of those who should know you without being a pain in the ass?

First and foremost, when you are auditioning, BE PREPARED!!!!!!!!!! If you don't have the goods, you aren't going to get as far as you hoped! Know what you have to offer and be honest about it and develop it and present it.

Follow up. ALWAYS follow up. Send an email or postcard with your headshot on it to thank the CD/GD/AD for the audition - attach your headshot to your email so they SEE you again. Keep the message short and sweet. We are a visual and language business. Keep that in mind!

Get out of your apartment for more than auditions!!!! Invest in workshops, seminars, classes to meet other performers and professionals in the business. We all talk to each other!!

Be approachable. Introduce yourself. Don't be shy!!! Even if you ARE shy, you cannot be when you are networking! BE AN ACTOR!!!

Make sure you have a business card at all times! You never know who you will meet and where! Having something tangible to hand to someone keeps you in their consciousness.

The art of networking is truly learning how to be approachable, and how to follow up.

When you meet new actors, a teacher, a director, an agent, a casting director, a composer, a conductor, ANYONE through a class/workshop, at a show, at a party - FOLLOW UP. Sending a quick email within a few days to say "great to meet you and chat the other night" and attach your headshot is an important way of keeping YOU out there. If you spoke about something specific, then mention that. "great to get your input on the new show blah blah " or whatever you spoke about.

Pushy is "great to meet you, and oh btw, do you know of any great roles I could audition for through your casting agency?" !!!! And pushy is sending email after email after email. Not good.

Networking is "great to meet you and thank you for the lesson/seminar/etc and I look forward to seeing you again - and perhaps auditioning for you soon." One email is fine.

(as examples)

If you are doing a showcase, have new work on your resume etc, sending out an email to "check in" and "update" someone you have met and may want to audition for etc is FINE! Again, it keeps your name and face in their consciousness!

The nature of this business is out of sight out of mind - so it is UP TO YOU to keep YOU in the minds of the people who can be allies for you as you build and sustain your career!!

Sometimes you just have to ASK. Again, if you ask and you are ignored or told no, then take that and stop! Pushy is ignoring the "no". Pushy shuts the door on you. We want to keep the doors unlocked and POSSIBLE.

Do not allow your possibilities to become "absolutely nots" because you confused your networking with your pushiness! Networking is a skill and it must be learned. Learn it!!!

I have always said, if you ask the worse thing that can happen is that you get no response. Even a "no" gives you a clarification! Often when we think there's no chance, and we ask, a possibility emerges!

Ask, don't demand. Always ask "is it possible?" It allows for conversation and response from the one you are asking, instead of shutting off and creating a wall. If you are approachable and responsive and flexible you have a better chance to get that from the person you are asking!

Recognize who is in your immediate business circle and use their expertise and experience and connections too! Your teachers, coaches, pianists, can all be willing to help you if you ask!!!!

Don't HESITATE!!! Learn HOW to promote yourself. Example: What if you are going to be in a city where there is a theatre company you would love to work for? If you aren't going to be there during a scheduled audition, why can't you email or call and ASK if there's anyway you could audition while you are in town? Even if this answer is no, you will have made a connection and they will have your resume and headshot and you can then follow up and ask if you could put on the mailing list for the next round of auditions. And what if the answer is yes???? IMAGINE IT!!

The business wants to see you are aware, and readily flexible, and willing to promote yourself and put yourself out there. The business is not for the hesitant, second-guessing or apologetic. Show some guts and some savvy and some creativity and get your name and your energy out there!! The business remembers that - and your name begins to ring a bell. That can lead to a meeting, an audition, an conversation, a job!!

You are your product. Don't apologize for it. Don't hide it. Get it out there!!! Get YOU out there! Don't push it - promote it! Ask, and accept with graciousness the answer the comes to you. Do not push.

Do something for your business each day - network and promote the business of you.

The development will grow and come back to you - be known as a great colleague and not as a pushy performer. The accessible and pliable will always find a place. The pushy may look like they are getting somewhere, but that place ends in nowhere very quickly!

Follow up, discover, stay creative and fresh, and ask!

happy weekend!

What is Your Role?

Tuesday evening musings - since I am home early!

The whole philosophy behind this blog is to give information and overview and suggestions and support and challenge and do it with passion and clarity!!! The information should trigger your OWN journey of finding out more specific information. I am not here to name names or point fingers directly (!!) but rather to give my impressions and experiences and musings on what I see, hear and experience.

So this blog will perhaps give a very BASIC breakdown of this animal called "the theatre business"! What is your role in this wheel? And what is your responsibility???

We each have a responsibility first and foremost to know our contribution, its importance and its place and then its execution. We should be held to task for that responsibility by others and ultimately by ourselves. We should have a work ethic, an integrity and an honesty in order to understand fully how we can fulfill that responsibility, or walk away from it and let someone else do it who is more suited.

Whatever side of the table we sit/stand on, we are responsible. We must be willing raise the bar and rise above it if our business is going to have lasting value and does not fall to the lowest common denominator.

I have heard from many singers out there who prefer to remain anonymous, not because they don't think what they have to say doesn't have relevance, but because they believe they will be black-balled if they disagree with "establishment". When did our business become so power-hungry and faux-mafia?

Each side of the table is needed to make this business work. If one aspect decides they are ultimately the most important, the power struggle becomes ridiculously imbalanced and the process does not work. At all.

So let's begin to break it down. Forgive me if I don't get detailed - or forget a position. This is an overview to begin a general discussion and understanding.

The Artist: the person who executes the idea. Hired by the administration - GD/Company; The artist can be the singer/conductor/director/musician/actor et al - who HAS craft and talent and work ethic in order to tangibly realize the product and create the best possible performance. So the challenge of the artist is TRUTH OF SELF. Can you do it or do you just want to? What do you promote to get hired?? Truth of self and craft, or a mirage? You need to be truthful and honest with YOURSELF first. Pretending in the theatre isn't acting - it's pretending.

The Casting Director: Glorified Human Resources (thank you Paul Russell!). They take the headshots and resumes, they type; they try to create a possible short list for the Creative Team to draw from. They are not scary, omni-powerful or anything like that. They are there to collect and shortlist. They are human. They make mistakes. CDs can be great and can be lousy - like everybody else.

The Board/Producers: This is the money behind the season/production. They need to stay there and just raise the money. They cannot be a part of the creative process, but rather create a comfortable environment to physically work and know that there is money to hire the BEST creative staff and artists to execute the work.

The General Director/Artistic Director: Is the overview and the balance. They create a program/season, they act as liason between money and talent. They work with all facets of our business and get little sleep or rest. They must have business sense AND artistic sense. If they are honest and know they are lacking in either they must be honest in finding an assistant who is brilliant is what they are lacking. There are few who are both, but very few. The GD/AD set the tone for the company. It all comes back to them. They call the shots and answer to the board. They need to answer to the artists too.

The Agent: works for the artist. I shall say that again, the agent works for the artist. The artist does NOT work for the agent. The agent gets paid when the artist gets work. The artist and the agent must work together in a collaborative effort to create work for both of them. The agent works out the details and negotiates the business; The artist delivers.

These are only a few of the players in our theatrical overview. We RELY on each other to create art and produce it for commerce and product.

Even though commerce and product relies on the money, and if there is no money, there is often no real production, we must come back to the artist.

If there is no artist to execute the idea, there is no show. If there is no show, there are no tickets to be sold and no audience and therefore no business. The artist must remain the fulcrum of the business of theatre. We do not have theatre without the artist. We can then flesh out the creativity in business through these other very important and necessary components.

The clearer we are about our role, the more focused we can be to do it EXCEPTIONALLY. We should expect EXCEPTIONAL performance from ourselves, and then, expect it from others. Theatre demands it.

Our questions, our thoughts, our queries of the others should then be validated if we are pulling our weight and doing what we do well. If we can't do it well, we must be honest enough to see it and do something about it.

Theatre demands honesty. It tends to expose pretending. Acting isn't pretending. And money is real or it is not. Deciding on why you are doing what you are doing and claiming it - no matter what side of the table you reside - needs to be honest, forthright and clear.

Honesty and tough is easy. It's the chickenshit that is cowardly and useless.

If we all claim our position and DO IT, what a remarkable place we would create!

The Art of Saying "No"

It's a two blog entry day!!!

Sunday EVENING musings...

Perhaps it would surprise some of you (or perhaps not) that I grew up being a "pleaser". It was a very interesting balance, as on one hand, I was hard-wired a seeker, a child who really wanted to know "why", clamoring for more knowledge and understanding; I wanted to know, and I wanted to know why; I was (and am) stubborn and strong-willed. AND I am a pleaser, and I STILL want to know why. Wow - my poor family!!!!! You never know what will fly and when do you???

So, how do we as artists, and artists and performers trying to make a living in this business, learn to make ourselves available, accessible and still be able to say "no", when it's necessary?

When work is often scarce, and we are often fearful of where that next paycheque will come from, we often feel obligated to take EVERYTHING that comes our way. When we are just beginning to build a resume, need experience and contacts, we often feel we can't say no to a project no matter what it is.

Often, when we are asked to do something in an audition that we know would be vocally damaging are we damaging our reputation if we say no? What about saying "no" to a director or conductor?

So many questions...and no real black and white answers.

Saying "no" is often the most difficult thing we have to learn as artists and performers. However, when we learn how to say "no" and why we say it, it will empower us immensely.

Part of the difficulty of being able to say "no" is that innate sense of wanting to please, wanting to be accepted, wanting to be liked. Let's face it, we live in a profession that is rejection-filled. When someone finally says "yes", why would we say "no"?

Sometimes saying "no" is ridiculous, and sometimes it will save your life!!! Learning what the "no" actually means will clear up the misconceptions you have about it.

The art of saying "no" isn't black and white either - quite literally!!! Come on now! You call yourself an artist which means there is a performer's spirit in you, which means you are an actor. Now is your opportunity to explore the facets of "no" and make it expressive, liquid, angled and couched so it is not a negative but rather a pondering!!! You can learn to please the process - not the person you are responding to!!

When do we say "no"? Of course, that's up to you. But again, there are always consequences to our decisions, and "no" does not immediately mean "negative", just as "yes" doesn't mean "positive"!!

You must weigh each enquiry/request, each role, each gig, each demand from the uniqueness of itself, and within the context of YOUR career. Ultimately, the role, the gig, the request, the demand, has no real affect on the one asking - but it will have long lasting affect on YOU!

SO - if you are a pleaser - please yourself FIRST. Please yourself to make sense to what is being asked of you - as a human being, as an artist!

Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself before saying yes or no:

1. Does it enhance my reputation or does it detract from it?

2. Does it add an important credit? How am I affected by that credit? Why is it important?

3. Does it put me at risk artistically? emotionally? physically? technically? vocally?

4. Can I actually DO what I am being asked to do, or do I just WANT to be able to do it?

5. Is this showing what I do as an artist, how I see myself, or does it dismiss me to make someone else feel comfortable?

These are just a few questions to consider...there are many MANY others given individual situations.

Sometimes the answer is neutral, and it really comes down to whether or not you want to be bothered!!! If it's something you WANT and you CAN, then DO it!! Or not...it is YOUR choice!

When we are first building a resume, saying "no" doesn't make sense! I have often heard singers/actors say they are turning down work because it doesn't pay. Well, if you haven't DONE anything yet, you aren't really in the position to call those shots yet!!

Do those of us who have a resume still do non-paying gigs? Again, the answer is grey. Sometimes. I might consider doing something for a good cause, and if it was perhaps something I would love to do - a piece of music/a role - that was new and I hadn't had a chance to chew into it yet; and if it wasn't going to take time away from my making a living.

When a conductor asks for a different sound or choice, or a director asks us to do something that may put us at risk technically, vocally or physically, or in any other way do we just do it? Here is where the art of saying "no" has to use all of your acting power!! The art of saying no in this situation may begin with asking "why" in a creative way and being able to offer another solution that doesn't put you at risk and still allows for the director's/conductor's input. Learn how to do this! Make it their idea!!! Figure it out and save your butt! You have learned how to say "no" and given a solution to a question that shouldn't have been asked of you.

Some of us say yes to everything - every gig big or small, every audition, every everything!! And what happens? We burn out; we are exhausted and cannot keep up and cannot deliver what we signed on to do. We become desperate; we look desperate; and we begin to be looked at as "the singer who can't say no". Our integrity begins to shred. Not good.

Our profession is so often feast or famine and when it is feasting we tend to overindulge knowing a lean time could come soon!! The problem with that is we can't store up! Saying yes constantly will wear us down and our work will not be at the level we want it. We have stopped saying "yes" to ourselves, and ironically our bodies and spirits have said "no"!

Saying "no" is not about giving attitude. It is not about lack of knowledge. It is not about rudeness. The art of saying "no" is about self-preservation, recognition of where we are - in our careers and in our abilities and talents and craft, and about how the decision will affect us ultimately in the pursuit of career and craft.

What would be the positive outcome of saying yes to a role you were unable to sing, and then ultimately wrecked your voice or pushed it so badly out of shape that you would have to do major rehabilitation to repair the damage? Why would saying "no" be a bad thing?

As we truly come to the truth and terms of WHO we are and WHERE we are on our journey in our career and WHAT we have to work with in talent, temperament and technical development, then "no" becomes clearer and the "yes" is brighter!

If you are truly a soubrette - why try to sing dramatic soprano literature? YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR INSTRUMENT!

If you are 22 years old and offered King Lear - saying "no" is obvious and clear. It is the right decision, not just the correct one!

Learning how to say "no" does not make people like you less!! Saying "no" requires a deep sense of self; a sense of what self needs; a sense of what self can do; Saying "no" requires guts and knowledge, intuition, reality and courage. Saying "no" requires self-respect, and demands respect from others.

You require nothing more from yourself than KNOWING. You are ONE. And there are only 24 hours in the day. And your craft is nurtured BY YOU AND YOU ALONE. No one else will do it ultimately.

Know where you are and act and decide accordingly. "No" is about preserving YOU and developing you and saving you. The art of saying "no" could save you for the possibility of saying "YES"!!!!