Saturday, January 23, 2016

NO EXCUSES!

happy snow day on the east coast of the US!

Self-sabotage:  Such a loaded phrase, isn't it?

We all do it, or have done it,  or fall into it.  None of us are immune to this at some point or other.

So,  when are YOU going to release it and follow through?

How does it start?

A simple insecurity can trigger it.

A simple "yeah, but..." can paralyze you.

It's a reaction to something much, much deeper. 

I see self-sabotage regularly in the studio.  It's one of those things that is often more obvious to someone outside of it - especially if that someone has dealt with it personally as well (!!).  Takes one to know one.

I do not chastise you for the self-sabotage.  Sometimes it's simply a form of self-preservation,  or control, or something. 

However, I will challenge you about it.  Why?  Because if you say one thing and then go against that, why shouldn't I say something?

Many of us who work with singers and actors regularly are always amazed at the ability to self-sabotage on epic levels.  It can happen so easily,  and so gradually,  sometimes I don't even think you realize you've done it for yourself.

How do we challenge ourselves to not fall down this particular rabbit hole?

Here are some ideas:

Who holds you accountable?

Do you have that person in your world who will call you on your shit?  I mean, REALLY call you, not enable you?

We do not need people who tell us what we want to here:  we need those people who will tell us what we NEED to hear.  Find that person.  Demand the truth from them.  Prepare for it.

Are you willing to look at your language?

What you say in public,  what you say in a voice session,  what you complain about online, all reveals something about you and where you are and what you want, what you have and what are fearful of.

Check that language.  What are you hiding from?

Are you excuse ridden?  Are you deflecting?  Are you "fabulous" all the time?  Is everything "great"?

Any extreme reveals some sort of sabotage.  Check it.

Is there drama?

Is there "Kaflamma"?

This generally means distraction.  With distraction comes excuses.  With excuses comes sabotage.

Why are you doing something?

What AREN'T you doing something?

What's your first answer to these questions?  Now, sit and breathe, and REALLY answer it.

What protects you by using sabotage?

What does it actually protect you from?

Is it working?

But, Susan, you might be saying,  it's just HARD.  I am NOT sabotaging.  It's just HARD.

Okay...

What's hard exactly?

Are you in the same place as last year?  Why or why not?

What can YOU change to begin to move forward?  What have you NOT changed in order to stay EXACTLY IN THE SAME PLACE.

The great things about choices:  you can always TRY something,  and if it's not working, you can MAKE ANOTHER CHOICE.  That's action-oriented.

Self-sabotage makes no choice but to stay stuck.

You have choice.  No, you REALLY do!

Make a choice,  make a NEW choice,  find a new class, a different teacher or even a consultation to get a different perspective!  We can learn from EVERY situation.  If we start a possibility with "yeah but..." we lose the possibility before we even acknowledge.

Every possibility has a "maybe".  Don't shut it down before you start!

So, on a day that has made you stop - a day full of storm and snow - give yourself permission to say "I WANT TO...."

Dream a little...

What do you want to achieve?  What could you change or suggest or explore to perhaps explore a slightly different perspective in order to keep pursuing that achievement?

Say you are a scared.  That's the first step of releasing the self-sabotage.

Say you aren't sure.

Say you don't know.

Say you have no idea.


All these things are not failures, or flaws.  These things open the possibilities.

Possibilities are scary as hell.  Possibilities make you breathe differently.  Possibilities allow you to dream again.

So are you going to feel dragged down by PFO letters,  no audition or no call back,  or are you going to say, "NO".

Are you going to surrender to the self-sabotage?

Are you going to pretend?

Are you going to create another reality that only YOU live?

That takes a great deal of energy - more than you really can deal with.  Sadly the self-sabotage and delusion is yours, and yours alone. 

Or, are you going to say, "NO WAY."

Are you going to relinquish the chip on your shoulder,  the excuses, the jazz hands and pretend?  All coping mechanisms,  and needed in moments but not something you can rely on in the long run.

Are you going to build on that shallowness,  or get your hands dirty and dig into it all and say NO MORE SABOTAGE!

Decide to seek truth.

Decide to seek change.

Decide to claim what you have.

Decide to claim and develop what you do not yet own.

Be still,  feel it all,  mourn it,  and release it. 

The people that see you clearly,  will rejoice with you,  not blame you!

Dare to discover YOU and what YOU need.  You find that when it's time to find it.

However, it's you and ONLY you,  and nobody can claim it but you.  You have nobody to blame if you don't.  You have nobody to answer to, if you DO!

Releasing self-sabotage allows us a new day,  a clean slate,  and an opportunity to pursue and develop and claim ALL of what we are meant to do and be.

Take the time it takes to find it all,  release it all,  develop it all - and make excuses for NOTHING.

HAPPY "YOU"  YEAR!

I dare you...








Thursday, December 31, 2015

It's New Year's Eve...

The book on 2015 is coming to an end...

Slam it shut,  close it carefully,  close it firmly,  close it gently...but CLOSE it.

Time to pull out the new book and begin to write,  to discover,  to get excited,  to remember in order to adjust;  to create,  to nurture,  to trust your curiosity and your excitement.

Today,  on the eve of the new book gives you opportunity too.  To reflect,  to rejoice,  to shake your head,  to let your breath out!

YOU DID IT!!!

You succeeded in another year.

Do you have an Eve Ritual?  Do you take time for YOU today to create a moment to reflect,  release, &  respond to your past year?

Whether you meditate,  or go to the gym and sweat it out,  go for a walk,  burn a candle or incense,  or write the year out and release it by burning the paper it's written on,  DO IT TODAY.

The year isn't all or nothing.  It is a part of you and will remain thus.  It is up to you to finish up, tidy up,  and release it today FOR YOU.

Tomorrow begins a clean slate.  How will you embrace it?

Are you excited?

Are you seeing possibilities?

Once you release whatever 2015 offered and whatever you worked with during this year,  then you can fully take a breath and release it behind you.


Tomorrow there is magic,  excitement,  possibilities and freshness.

Find time today to be still and write in the final page of 2015 "The End".   Turn the page and discover the Epilogue that is TODAY.

Acknowledge,  release and close that book.

Be still.

Reflect.

Breathe.

Wherever you are,  BE there.

Magic and excitement and possibilities all await you...TOMORROW.

Just finish the book.  Give yourself that moment to let it resonate and then put it on the shelf,  or burn it,  or release it fully.

Laugh, scream, sigh, roll your eyes,  cry,  swear!  Give yourself permission to release the book of 2015 however you choose to.


Commit to living in your NOW;  discovering your now;  embracing your now.

Now.

You.

Gift yourself with that.

Here's to YOU and the absolute uniqueness you are!





Saturday, November 28, 2015

Are you settling?

Do you "settle" for less?

for crappy?

for "not what I was expecting"?

I have been known to "make do" much longer than I should have - and therefore - "settling".

It actually pisses me off.

WHY DID I DO THAT?

You don't have to make excuses.

You don't have to create a litany of reasons why.

You just do not have to settle.  Period.

Your castle,  your rules.

So often, we feel as if we HAVE to take that job,  HAVE to audition for that show or project,  HAVE to, have to, have to.

What if I told you,  you don't have to?

What if I told you,  having to leads to settling?

What if I told you settling leads to mediocrity?

What if I told you mediocrity leads to your soul being sucked away?

What if I told you,  that if you were GIVING the advice,  you'd tell that person "settling" the exact same thing????

What are you settling for, anyway?

You haven't worked in a while so you SHOULD take that job?

why?

You need to get another credit on your resume,  so you SHOULD audition for something that really isn't your fach, your wheelhouse, your type?

why?

You should just take that job, even though the pay sucks, and the living conditions are like a 3rd world country...because...

why?

Why do we settle?????

We are,  you are, I am,  WORTH SO MUCH MORE!

I know a secret I want to share with you....

Theatre isn't going anywhere.  It has been here since ancient times, and will outlast all of us.  It is not going ANYWHERE.

So,  what's the rush?  What's the hurry?  Why the settling?

We so often get so panic-stricken about work,  about being seen,  about staying current.  Yet, by settling,  what does it really reveal about us?

Could it be anxiousness?

Could it be fear?

Could it be panic?

Could it be desperation????

I don't know about you,  but I don't particularly want anybody to see ANY of that.  EVER.

And frankly,  why should they even be part of my or your consciousness?

Who told us we had to be anxious or fearful or desperate?

Those stupid inside voices that need to be silenced quickly,  that's who!

Even the business doesn't say that.  They WANT to hire us if we are right.  However, if we bring in desperation or fear or anxiousness,  they cannot.  They need us to be grounded, and real, and clear, and focused & all those things we know we can be.

 While teaching, I often talk to the singer while they are singing - not because I don't think they are doing what I am asking of them,  but rather to remind the subconscious of what we are DOING.  And I often say,  I need to be the LOUDEST VOICE IN YOUR HEAD.

Who is the loudest voice in YOUR head?

The voice that settles,  or the voice that says "no shit today!"

Those voices need to push you when you don't FEEL like practicing, or preparing;  when you don't FEEL like getting to a dance class or a performance class.

Those voices need to push you when you hit your snooze button but you need to get to that audition.

Those voices need to push you when you need to self-submit online BEFORE you have an adult beverage,  or a date, or a snuggle on the couch with your pet.

Those voices need to push you when you'd rather eat pie than go to the gym.

THOSE voices.

Those voices don't settle.  They pester.  They challenge.  They know the truth.  They know YOU know the truth.  They are loud,  they are noisy, they have no sense of decorum and they will kick your butt if you don't start paying attention.

If you DO ignore them and settle - trust me - they will KICK YOUR ASS.  HARD.

It takes more effort and work and energy to try to shut them up than it is to actually DO what is right for you.

Why do we fight it?

Why do we settle?

I have two words for you:  STOP THAT.

Or three words:  STOP THAT STUFF.

QUIT settling.  Figure out where that self-sabotage is.  Figure out why.

And STOP IT.

STOP IT NOW.

I don't want "Yeah I know".

I don't want "Yeah but..."

I don't want "Yeah I probably do..."

JUST STOP.

Figure out if settling is serving you,  or if it is simply wasting time and energy keeping you from the power and possibility that is yours.

POWER & POSSIBILITY is stronger than "settling".

Settle because there's nothing better to do????  There is ALWAYS something better to do!  You just have to take a little more time and effort to discover it.

The focus is never ahead of you - but always in your peripheral vision.  Stay alert.  What lurks there is precisely what you need to see in order to never settle.

Not settling means saying "thanks, but no."

Not settling means saying "I am better than that."

Not settling means saying "I deserve better than that."

From yourself.

From your craft.

From your business.

From the people you surround yourself with.

From everything that you feel informs you,  involves you & infuses you.

NO.  MORE.  SETTLING.

Here's your line in the sand.

Watch what happens.  Listen to what happens.  Sing what happens.

Saying "no" doesn't mean a door closes or a bridge burns.  Saying "no, I am not settling" means possibilities begin to percolate and build;  You just have to have the courage to say it and walk away.

You don't walk away with your head down, in defeat.

You walk away with your head held high,  paying attention to each moment with your focus in the periphery!!!

Are you ready?

Me too.




Friday, November 27, 2015

a FREE WEBINAR from ANYWHERE!!!!


I'm a big fan of Tony Howell and Get Creative Social Media.

Tony & his team help artists with the business and technical side of things - designing an online presence that "sells" you (but in a way that's equally authentic and effective).


If you've ever been confused about how to market yourself online - controlling and shaping how people perceive you in the industry - I HAVE AN AWESOME RECOMMENDATION!

Here it is!!!!!

Tony is hosting a FREE WEBINAR called "BOOST YOUR BRAND"

Sunday, December 6th at 9 p.m. EST.

I strongly recommend you register - it is FREE!  Click on the link below and be a part of your NOW!

http://getcreativesocialmedia.com/2015