Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Ongoing Conversation with Self

Sunday musings...

As we start to wind down the summer days and move into fall...(sssshhhhhhhh it is all happening too quickly!)  Sunday mornings are really my meditation days.  This blog allows me an opportunity to share thoughts, ideas, experiences, and the like.

As I continue to hopefully evolve and discover,  I am brought back to the clarity of one's ongoing conversation with oneself.  The self-narrative. 

I believe it is necessary, and vital,  to continue to examine that conversation:  Where is it heading?  Where is it leading?  What does it reveal?  Is it time to change direction?  Is it time to re-integrate?
What are we really SAYING?

There are as many aspects of the conversation we have with ourselves, as their are facets to our being.  It is a complex fabric that requires intimacy, time and respect.

One of those ongoing areas of conversation is where we are looking and what we are seeing.

Often as performers, as artists who perform and reveal to an audience, we are misunderstood in that we are attention seekers.  There is a huge difference between "I want attention" and "Please pay attention".  These are two difference conversations.

This goes on to how we approach the work, the opportunity,  the task at hand.  Does our conversation move inward and say "what do I do to develop this fully and reveal it?"  or does it deflect the self and say "if I do this who will notice me?"

There is an enormous difference between "I want to reveal the work/the character/the process through my talent" and "look at me! watch me! see me!".

The desire for fame is not the same as the quest for recognition.

Fame does not require any depth, or talent, or craft.  On its own, it is immature,  shallow and fickle.

Recognition takes depth, craft, desire and passion.  It demands respect and time; maturity and will; commitment and constant fine tuning.

If we "do" only to be noticed,  we will always fall short.  We will never receive what we think we should.  We will always be comparing ourselves elsewhere.  We will continue to deflect,  to become desperate,  and shallow,  and bitter.  The conversation with self never even gets started.  It draws nothing positive from anywhere.

If we "do" to explore our potential,  to find out how we can be better than our previous self,  we begin to recognize OURSELVES.  We demand respect of ourselves.  We demand MORE.  We have no time or energy to see if anybody is watching to tell us we are special,  because there is work to do!  The work demands our attention,  and we demand our commitment to that work.  We recognize ourselves and the work fully.  This conversation begins to reveal truth,  honesty,  openness,  and draws to it opportunity, inspiration,  and possibility.

 We each evolve in our own time.  We each have a starting place that is uniquely ours.  We grow in relationship to OUR OWN SELF - not in comparison to someone else.

What we DO have is a choice:  which path we decide to take.  Do we deflect and never really leave the adolescent immaturity of "me me me" or do we dare to have a real conversation and discover the respect of self and the opportunity of action from within?

This is a choice.  This isn't a fate.  At least it doesn't have to be. 

Make a difference in your own little corner.  That's where it starts.  Recognize self.  Embrace self.  Dare to evolve and become better than your previous self.  It doesn't matter who sees it.  You will be too busy enjoying the journey.

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