Me? Getting in my own way?

Happy Daylight Savings Time to those of us who lost an hour over night.  

There are no coffee rules today.  Who am I kidding?! There are no coffee rules any day.  Drink it til you can move things with your mind!

I am giddy because maybe, just maybe this horrible winter is over.  Although as I type, I am seeing white crap falling from the sky and 30 minutes ago it was brilliantly sunny. 

I do know it's warmer, because my weather app says so.  Let's hope that is true and spring is truly teasing us into something better.

So what about you?  How's the audition season?  How was the audition season?

Where are you at in your process?

How many times have you heard over the years: "Stop getting in your own way!"

What the hell does that mean?!?!?!

Well, in all honesty I do not know.  I cannot know since I am not you.  These things are personal, journey-driven,  craft-driven,  self-esteem driven. 

So, what I can share with you are ideas that may help you find out how to get to that elusive and universal question for yourself, in order to find the answers.

When we want something so much,  the idea of being still seems counter productive.  Yet, wanting can lead to drive, can lead to over-zealous, can lead to single-mindedness, can lead to craving, can lead to trying to do too much, can lead to frustration, can lead to desperation, can lead to anxiousness, can lead to confusion, can lead to wanting it harder, can lead to panic, can lead to...

Get the idea?  Are you breathing?

Stillness doesn't mean you aren't DOING something.  Stillness simply gives you permission to be you in the moment.  Not to say "yeah, but I have to..."  We all have to.  Wait a second.  Take a breath.  Let it out.  Take another one.

"But I have to show them I can sing, I can act, I can be what they want!"

How do you know that's what they want? 

Take a breath.  Be still.

Trying too hard often can be translated into trying to do too much at one time;  trying to reveal more than you have to;  trying, trying, trying.

So break it down:  What are you DOING to develop the TOTALITY of your craft?  Layer by layer. 

Do you study voice?  Regularly?  Do you understand your physicality?  Do you know where you are in that process?  Do you really understand how your physicality uniquely influences what your voice is as an athletic presence of sound? 

Do you study performance?  Do you study acting?  Do you know how and why and where the physicality embodies the characterization of breath, of intention, of thought, of action?  Do you find that in the lyrics of a song or aria?  Do you find that character in the phrase a composer has taken the time to craft for you to lift off a page?

Do you explore your physical athleticism outside your craft?  Do you know where you hold your tension?  Do you know your vulnerable spots? 

Do you find your trouble spots when you are completely safe? 

Do you allow yourself to find out what happens when you don't feel like you are in your element?

What changes?  Why?

How do you compensate?  Do you allow, do you try harder, do you become still,  do you just get in the way and spiral out of control?

Are you in your body during your study? During a class?  During your practice?  Are you present in your mind and spirit or are you going through the motions?  Do you mimic? Do you hide? Do you truly explore the messy, the raw and the undeveloped potential and let it be where it is or do you gloss over it hoping nobody saw, including you?

We aren't always ready to see.  We aren't always ready to acknowledge.  We aren't always ready to claim.   It's okay.  But not being ready creates panic in a pressure situation and then - we get in our own way.

If you want it badly enough,  you have to realize,  recognize and do the work to create the stillness to access it.  Period.

There isn't a formulaic plan for that, sorry.  Each of us, with guidance from someone or several someones outside ourselves,  have to find that for ourselves.

We need to know in order to see the truth.  Once we see those truths, then we don't make excuses for them:  they simply are.  There is no value judgement.  We now can pick up those truths and develop them, hone them, sculpt them to create a larger reality that we can be still in;  live in;  claim fully.

You can't get in your own way if you are living in your craft and your body and spirit in an authentic way.  You cannot get in your own way if you let go of excuses.  You cannot be intimidated if you find the desire to simply learn about YOU and what the development of your craft reveals ABOUT you.

This should allow excitement to bubble.  This should lead to possibilities.  This should lead to desire and not panic.  Possibilities lead to timelessness,  not running out of time.

Those voices that tell you "if you don't figure it out now it's over"  - need to be kicked to the curb. 

YOU have never been here before.  All of our possibilities are new.  It's not over because it hasn't been before. 

How do you get out of your own way?

Get ON your way.  Claim the journey,  warts and all.  Make no excuses.  Find everything you need to fulfill your possibility.  Make no excuses.  Make choices.  Be BOLD.  Be real.  Be still.

Carbs & Sleep & Stillness

Yes, indeed, it's THAT time of year.

We are mammals after all - and hibernation sounds about right:  a snuggly blanket, a good book, Netflix,  carbs and comfort food,  warmth,  naps, dozing off...

Of course, that's a luxury this time of year, as auditions amp up,  applications are needing to be addressed and filled out,  learning your music, your lines, your role for that show you booked are necessary,  getting papers written for your classes are going to be due...

Or is it a luxury?

This is the time of year where I don't make resolutions, but I actually give myself "still time" to contemplate what's on my plate and what I want to change.

Listen, I like a full plate.  I like having things to do.  I also like crossing things that are done, off the list.  That sense of accomplishment is rather delicious indeed. 

The other "list" I am maintaining is the "I don't need that anymore" list. 

That's the list where I can say I have earned my way out of needing something;  have decided to step away from something;  have decided to clarify my involvement in something;  have decided to simply something.

I am beginning to love this list,  because it really does allow me to slow down,  consider what I DON'T need,  and how I will nurture what I DO need.

So often, we are constantly chasing what we feel we need to DO.  What about sitting back,  taking a breath and saying "what do I need to release?"

It can be simply giving yourself permission to let go of something - even temporarily - to allow a clearer head space;  an opportunity to focus further elsewhere;  a chance just to not only catch your breath, but BREATHE.

You do NOT have to go to EVERY AUDITION.  Pick the ones you are right for,  and the shows that make sense for you. 

You do NOT have to apply for EVERY YAP.  God knows, the application fees themselves could cause heart failure.  Pick the companies that you respond to in their mission statements,  how they build their seasons,  what their reputation is.

You do NOT have to keep your priorities the same every day.  Every week.  Every month.

"Regular" voice lessons might mean weekly for a while,  or bi-weekly for a while,  or monthly for a while.

"Regular"  work on your craft may mean you need to adjust how much time is spent on what aspect of the craft determined by simply what you NEED in that week, and for that commitment.

Give yourself permission to RELEASE a little.  Stretch.  Sigh.  Eat some carbs. 

And some days, it means, just pulling the covers back up and hitting the snooze one more time. 

Life will be there when you get up.  It will greet you fully whenever you are able to look it in the eye and say "okay, let's figure out what I need, and what I can release, TODAY."  And even consider doing that in reverse order: "What can I release today, in order to embrace what is needed?"

Time to enjoy the stillness.  And the fluidity we call an artist's life.