Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts

Monday, July 4, 2016

What Does a Singer Need?

Happy 4th of July to all of you who celebrate!

As we enter the lazy days of summer,  it can be a great time to re-evaluate,  to re-negotiate,  to re-discover what you need,  what you want,  what your goals are for the upcoming season,  what you want to achieve through the summer.

So what does a singer NEED in order to create an environment to learn, to develop & to succeed in their development?

Talent aside,  there are many other things that can be more tangible or realized.


Talent is nothing without development.  Potential sucks if it's not developed.


What do you need?

A burning desire to sing.  Not a plan B or C;  not an excuse;  not a "yeah, but";  Just a simple burning desire to sing because that it was gives you a sense of yourself like no other.

You need to WANT to sing.  You need to WANT to learn that role, that song, that aria.  You cannot WAIT to throw yourself into the learning process because to sing is to be alive.


A capacity for major doses of reality.  The DESIRE is fueled by this.  You have to know what you are capable of doing and why;  and what you are not ready to do,  may never do,  and why not.

Do you know what it will take to pursue a career?  Are you ready to commit to that?  What are you ready and willing and able to commit to?  What can you glean from that commitment?

Knowledge is power,  and power is knowing.  The singer must have both and recognize that the balance of the two is constantly in flux.

AWARENESS is key.   Where am I?  What can I do?  What am I willing to do?  How do I make that work to achieve my goals?  Are my goals realistic to my talent, my desire, my tenacity, my commitment?  If not,  how do my goals shift in order to make my choices more realistic?

What are my priorities?  Do they line up with what I want or say I want or do they reveal something more important that I need to pursue or acknowledge?

Are you aware of your own psychology?  Are you clear what it represents?

Are you aware of your emotional and mental strengths, and even more importantly, your weaknesses?  Do you know how to develop your sense of self awareness?
Do you acknowledge self-doubt?  Self-sabotage?
Do you recognize what you need to do to move through it?

Are you willing to take responsibility for your emotional life in order to be healthy enough to explore a professional life as a singer?  What are you doing to achieve that goal?

Find a mentor.  Find that person that is willing to invest in you and challenge you.  A mentor will hold up a mirror to give you permission to see what needs to be seen.  They will help you continue to ask the questions in order to discover some answers, and probably some more questions.  They are not there to enable,  to tell you what you want to hear, but rather, to encourage,  and create an environment safe enough to hear what you NEED to hear and help you find ways to DO something about it.

I think mentoring is like reality training in a safe environment.

As singers,  as human beings,  we need this desperately.

What else do you need?

A solid,  unrelenting work ethic.

A focused consistency.

An unapologetic self-discipline.

The ability to laugh at yourself but always take the work seriously.

The ability to forgive yourself.

The emotional and psychological fortitude to say "no".

The emotional and psychological fortitude to ask "why".

The self-discipline to take a day off and not feel guilty.

The self-discipline to get back to work,  even when the obstacles take your breath away.

The desire and focus to always follow through.  ALWAYS.

So,  what are you working on?  What do you need?  What are you willing to do to acknowledge it,  and develop it and find more of it?

Nothing is promised,  but you have RIGHT NOW to make some choices that will allow you to find your "next".

Happy discovering!!





Friday, May 31, 2013

The Triple Threat of Apology

Friday night musings...

Such a fine line between the apology,  the excuse and the attitude.

How do we ride it?

All three can be devastating in the studio, in the audition room and on the stage.
IF it gets to the stage.

The triple threat of apology/excuse/attitude can become a passive-aggressive step-ball-change throughout the pursuit of a career.

And now, to pull a Dr Phil - how's that working for you?

Apology works when you've actually done something WRONG.  Apology is unnecessary if you've simply made a choice that doesn't work while exploring your craft.

Apologizing or excusing in the audition room completely negates your audition.

Did you hear that?

COMPLETELY NEGATES YOU.

Who did that?  The CD?  The artistic director?  Nope,  that was you.  Perhaps an apology to self is in order.

And what about the attitude?  It often happens due to insecurity,  due to being out of your depth, due to plain old fear: of being found out,  of not being prepared or ready,  of the truth.

The room doesn't care.  These issues could maybe use a different kind of professional help that has a medical slant to it.

The room and the people in it want to see YOU CLAIM YOU!

Make your choices.  Be BOLD.  Be honest.  DO IT. 

"I'm sorry but..."
"I really cannot..."
"but..."

Those are NOT choices. 

When a teacher or a coach asks for something else and why,  ask for clarification if needed, and JUST DO IT!  Don't apologize for what you didn't do or make an excuse about why you didn't do what they have just asked you to do!  That is NOT WHY YOU ARE THERE!

You are there to EXPLORE!  to GROW!  To drop it on the floor and break it, or crack it - and say - oh well - and pick it up and dust it off and do it again!

Leave the apology and the excuse at the door.  OUTSIDE the door.
Leave the attitude there too.  They can all stay in the hallway in the same bag.

If the attitude prevents you from discovering what you COULD do,  why are you there?

If you walk into a lesson or coaching,  a class or an audition,  why would you give 'tude and build a stone wall around you and alienate a possibility????

What is the point?

WHAT ARE YOU THERE TO DO?

If you just want someone to tell you that you are wonderful,  ask your grandmother.

If you want to LEARN, find those people who can TEACH you and take it all in!  Do not apologize for being there!  Do not make excuses as to why it took you so long!

If you want to WORK,  get to those auditions!  Show them the TRUTH of who you are and what you do RIGHT NOW.  Do not make excuses of what you cannot do,  do not give attitude when asked if you can do something else.  Be BOLD.  Know what you are capable of!  Do not try to please, but instead,  stay true to yourself and find the unique power in that!

"I'm sorry..."
"It's just that..."
"I don't think I can do that today because..."

Leave that triple threat outside the door.  Frankly, kick it to the curb. 

Do not apologize for what you didn't do.  Just come in prepared,  ready to work,  and honest in that work. 

There's your NEW triple threat!

Preparation/Work Ethic/Honesty

Aren't you worth that? 



Friday, March 8, 2013

Self-Awareness and a Sprinkle of Delusion!

Happy Friday!

This theme has been wandering through my world lately in many aspects!

I am finishing up an online course for creatives,  written and lead by the golden inspiration of  warrior woman/life coach and more, Erin Stutland called "Magical Manifesters".

I have just put my Voice Over website and commercial demo to begin a more professional journey in that direction!

Whew.

Dream big.

I've written about the dreams versus the delusion.

I wanted to address it again, perhaps a little differently.

Have you ever noticed the people who often seem delusional don't seem to create any roadblocks for themselves?  They really and truly think they are where they want to be.

Those of us who are more self-aware,  tend to be more aware of where we are too.  We can dream big, but we tend to say "yeah, but.." and the self-doubt that is very much a part of being an artist often paralyzes us,  sabotages us,  and creates such inner turmoil we can't release ourselves and fully discover what we COULD do.

One of the reasons "THE BOOK" hasn't been written...YET.  One of the reasons I decided Erin Stutland's Magical Manifesters was for me.  It was time to get unstuck.

Since the car accident,  I knew it would be awhile before I would be able to do what I used to in the studio and on stage.  Now I know it will never be the same.  What I will be able to do will make itself known in time,  but what CAN I do now?

Voice Over was always something that I was interested in - but there was that "yeah, but..."

So, when I began a more disciplined study with my now mentor, Charles Michel,  I realized I COULD do this.  I COULD dream big.  I COULD dream bigger.

Oh, there's that self-awareness voice again - "can you really?" "yeah, but..."

I cannot tell you the number of teachers and mentors and friends and colleagues who, over the years, have said "You are over-thinking."  "Get out of your head."  "You are in your own way."

Sound familiar?

There's that voice again...self-doubt.  Wanting to find the complexities and riddle them out.  Striving for more.

Yet,  as my singing mentor,  Ted Baerg would say to me :"Could you just breathe and sing dumb?"

Self-awareness and self-knowledge are so important.  We need to know where we are,  what we have, how we can embrace that.  HOWEVER,  how many times can we over-complicate the journey or the path simply by over thinking?  being overly-critical?  questioning too much?

These are the moments that I look to the delusional ones for ideas!

Have you noticed (and you have, because you know PRECISELY who I am speaking about) these snow flakes never say "can I?"  They just plow ahead.  Now,  being delusional doesn't mean there isn't talent there, or skill, or ability,  but they dream big,  and have no roadblocks THEY erect!   They don't usually have many boundaries either, so self-awareness is ambiguous at best,  and realities shift from landscape to landscape - a great deal of BLUR in this world...

They are ALWAYS at those auditions, at 5 a.m.  They continue to tell EVERYBODY how wonderful they are in all aspects of their lives, unapologetically.  They see themselves a particular way and COMMIT to it!

We laugh.  We shake our heads.  They drive us mad.  They suck energy.  Yet, somehow they manage to land on their feet.

What is that?!?!

A sprinkle of that "delusion" could go a long way for those of us who are cripplingly self-aware.

I don't want to call it delusion now...not when you are not.  Let's change the language and discover something more magical.  How about a sprinkle of "ta-da!"

We have all wondered, mystified at these creatures.  They have no boundaries,  no questions,  no sense of how anybody else sees them.

A little of that goes a long way.  HOWEVER,  a sprinkle of "ta-da"  could perhaps give your self-awareness more permission to sparkle;  to take a risk;  to abandon safety for a moment and be in the moment;  to dream big without a "yeah, but".

Self doubt is part of the complexity of being an artist.  Our pursuit of truth, beauty, honesty,  and revealing of all of that DEMANDS a tenacity and a willingness and ability to look deep within ourselves and our craft to discover and reveal.  We work to uncover more.  We are never done.

Perhaps now,  we can learn something from the delusional ones.  Perhaps a little sprinkle of "ta-da"  when we discover something,  achieve something,  recall something,  journey somewhere,  is allowed once in awhile!

So, as you dream big,  allow the reality to create the boundaries to work WITH you, not against you.  "Yeah but" has no room in a dream.  It has no room in a complex reality either.
I challenge you (and every time I say "you",  I mean "me" too) to change your language with YOURSELF.  "Yeah but" needs to change to "What if..."

Possibilities.  Boundaries to explore within,  and push a little.

Create your sprinkle of "ta-da"!  It's okay to be a little scared,  it's energy waiting to be harnessed!

TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

What is your Personal Narrative?

Saturday musings...

What is your personal narrative?
We are all the star of our own play,  but what are you saying to yourself?

I believe personal narrative has to be a form of stress management.  We do need that.  We need to believe in ourselves.  However, at a certain point,  are the voices in your head helping you achieve your truth, or getting in the way of hearing the truth?

That personal narrative can be a crutch, a lie, a deception, or it can be a protection mechanism that creates another reality from being reached.  If it gets in the way of a larger truth,  it stunts us - as human beings and as artists.

By nature, artists have the capacity for self-doubt.  We need to question.  This is part of the process of growth, discovery, creativity and creation.  Creating and re-creating that personal narrative is so important to a healthy development as an artist.  However, what are you really saying?  What are you actually doing?  What does it allow you to explore and what does it prevent you from seeing/doing/becoming aware of in yourself?

Such a slippery slope, that personal narrative.  It can either keep you open to discover,  or it can close you off to self deception.  It can excuse ANYTHING you choose not to view in the reality that IS.

If you want to isolate and insulate yourself fully from the world,  then that personal narrative doesn't need constant examination.  However, if you want to be SEEN in the world,  that personal narrative needs to arrive at an honesty that allows you to LIVE there too.

Is your narrative full of statements or full of questions?  And if it has questions, are you asking the right ones?  Are you only asking the ones that YOU can answer, and thereby protect yourself,  or are you asking the ones someone else who has more knowledge/understanding/experience  could provide for you?

Sometimes the answers are surprising.  Surprisingly useful;  revealing;  lift weights;  Sometimes they are hard to swallow.  Sometimes they hurt.  However, those answers that could re-create a healthier personal narrative have to challenge where you ARE.  Sometimes they DO hurt - not because they are aimed to hurt YOU, but rather because they pose a truth that YOU have resisted and couldn't deal with - then or now.  If it hurts, there is still a possibility to change that narrative.

Yes, there will always be people who want to hurt - but let's not go there.  Let the questions become: why does that hurt?  Why does that sting?  Why does that make me uncomfortable?  Why do I get angry when I hear that?

Perhaps those things that are hard to swallow, or seem to hurt are actually going to give you freedom to see a deeper truth that you need to adjust that personal narrative and focus where it was cloudy.  Perhaps you didn't know it was cloudy - and when the fog clears,  it is a relief to see what is truly there and move through it!

The honest truth in a larger sense is this:  not everyone is a world class voice.  Not every world class voice works.  It is okay to be what you are,  develop what you have and pursue where you are.  First, you need to know and claim where that is.  That is part of the narrative.

It is okay to be just where you are.  It is okay to develop a personal narrative that reflects that.  It is okay to feel sad you aren't where you would like to be, where you thought you would be, and simply take the truth of that and make it part of the narrative.

Stress management does not need to be another form of reality!  Stress management as personal narrative can give you room to FEEL and to ask the right questions to get the correct answers to be YOU as an artist and as a singer (or actor or dancer or performer of ANY kind!)

What are the right questions?  Perhaps that is the first step and the first question.