We all deal with denial. Using my husband's quote, "Denial is a form of stress management."
It all works, until it doesn't anymore! At some point, the veneer cracks and we have to face the reality clearly.
As artists, we have to have, or learn to develop, the capacity to see ourselves truthfully. We need to learn to ask the hard questions. We can't wait til an issue is upon us to do something about it!
Easier said than done...
We have to start asking REAL questions, so that our craft can develop with authenticity and truth. We have all seen performances that were technically balanced, but completely not authentic. And we have experienced performances that are technically flawed, and still touch us with the authenticity of spirit and the truth in what is being shared.
What are those real questions?
They live in the shadows and the reflections...they aren't always easy to nail down, and sometimes even harder to find the truth in the answer. They aren't questions that are always easily answered, and the answers continue to morph just as the questions do.
Perhaps some of these ideas will begin to organically move you toward YOUR questions, and if you find those questions, it is your responsibility to discover YOUR answers. Nobody needs to know those answers - thus, you answer to no one but YOU. That reality is not up for debate. Your questions are yours, your answers are yours; YOU are responsible.
Overall general ideas can bring you to more specific questions you will need to discover for yourself...
Why do you do this? Why do you want to do this?
Do you know the difference between an artist and a performer? Are you one or the other or both?
Being an artist and being an artist making a living in the business aren't the same? Do you get that?
What do you have to offer?
Why do you study?
Are you "becoming", are you developed? How do you know?
Is what you feel you have to offer truly what shows you to your best right now?
Are you waiting for "later" or doing for "now"? WHY?
Are you denying your best destiny? Are you trying to do or be something you are not?
Are you wishing, but doing nothing about developing your craft regularly?
Are you realistic about your talent?
Are you realistic about your development of that talent?
What do you want???? What do you need???? Why?
If you want craft, what do you want from it? For it? What do you need to DO THAT?
If you want something else, what is it? Why? How do you find it?
The questions are big, sometimes huge - thus the denial. Don't deny the questions, nor the answers. If they are overwhelming, take them one at a time...go slow. Go at the pace that makes you comfortable enough to find the answers. The answers themselves aren't always comfortable, but the truth of the answer will squelch the desire for denial.
When we meet our stresses head-on, we have the power to find the answers.
If we are going to pursue the craft of artistry, we must be willing to ask those big questions - and it simply starts with "why am I doing this?" NOT having an answer right away is okay too...The answer comes only after the question is formed and pondered.
Start with "why" and allow those questions to develop...as we become more and more aware of why, the need for denial becomes less and less.
The decisions we make from the answers to these questions, will allow us to move forward to live an authentic life! It may take us more deeply into our artistry; it make take us into our performer's stance; it make take us into our instrument; it make take us through another door we have yet to discover - or another path entirely!
Fear is not part of the equation. Fear is simply the unknown. We know when we take the responsibility to ask the question. The answer will reveal itself. The answer relieves, and elevates and exposes and reveals. There is no fear is truth. Fear is in hiding, denial and ignorance.
Recognize your denial. Know why it is in place. Begin to deconstruct it and ask the questions to dissolve it to discover YOUR truth, your path, your ability, your talent.
If you say you ARE, then BE. If you say you DO, then DO IT. If you don't, something's in the way. Perhaps the truth is right there, and you are preventing yourself from revealing it.
Your truth - your responsibility. Nobody has that right or responsibility - but you.