Friday, March 8, 2013

Self-Awareness and a Sprinkle of Delusion!

Happy Friday!

This theme has been wandering through my world lately in many aspects!

I am finishing up an online course for creatives,  written and lead by the golden inspiration of  warrior woman/life coach and more, Erin Stutland called "Magical Manifesters".

I have just put my Voice Over website and commercial demo to begin a more professional journey in that direction!


Dream big.

I've written about the dreams versus the delusion.

I wanted to address it again, perhaps a little differently.

Have you ever noticed the people who often seem delusional don't seem to create any roadblocks for themselves?  They really and truly think they are where they want to be.

Those of us who are more self-aware,  tend to be more aware of where we are too.  We can dream big, but we tend to say "yeah, but.." and the self-doubt that is very much a part of being an artist often paralyzes us,  sabotages us,  and creates such inner turmoil we can't release ourselves and fully discover what we COULD do.

One of the reasons "THE BOOK" hasn't been written...YET.  One of the reasons I decided Erin Stutland's Magical Manifesters was for me.  It was time to get unstuck.

Since the car accident,  I knew it would be awhile before I would be able to do what I used to in the studio and on stage.  Now I know it will never be the same.  What I will be able to do will make itself known in time,  but what CAN I do now?

Voice Over was always something that I was interested in - but there was that "yeah, but..."

So, when I began a more disciplined study with my now mentor, Charles Michel,  I realized I COULD do this.  I COULD dream big.  I COULD dream bigger.

Oh, there's that self-awareness voice again - "can you really?" "yeah, but..."

I cannot tell you the number of teachers and mentors and friends and colleagues who, over the years, have said "You are over-thinking."  "Get out of your head."  "You are in your own way."

Sound familiar?

There's that voice again...self-doubt.  Wanting to find the complexities and riddle them out.  Striving for more.

Yet,  as my singing mentor,  Ted Baerg would say to me :"Could you just breathe and sing dumb?"

Self-awareness and self-knowledge are so important.  We need to know where we are,  what we have, how we can embrace that.  HOWEVER,  how many times can we over-complicate the journey or the path simply by over thinking?  being overly-critical?  questioning too much?

These are the moments that I look to the delusional ones for ideas!

Have you noticed (and you have, because you know PRECISELY who I am speaking about) these snow flakes never say "can I?"  They just plow ahead.  Now,  being delusional doesn't mean there isn't talent there, or skill, or ability,  but they dream big,  and have no roadblocks THEY erect!   They don't usually have many boundaries either, so self-awareness is ambiguous at best,  and realities shift from landscape to landscape - a great deal of BLUR in this world...

They are ALWAYS at those auditions, at 5 a.m.  They continue to tell EVERYBODY how wonderful they are in all aspects of their lives, unapologetically.  They see themselves a particular way and COMMIT to it!

We laugh.  We shake our heads.  They drive us mad.  They suck energy.  Yet, somehow they manage to land on their feet.

What is that?!?!

A sprinkle of that "delusion" could go a long way for those of us who are cripplingly self-aware.

I don't want to call it delusion now...not when you are not.  Let's change the language and discover something more magical.  How about a sprinkle of "ta-da!"

We have all wondered, mystified at these creatures.  They have no boundaries,  no questions,  no sense of how anybody else sees them.

A little of that goes a long way.  HOWEVER,  a sprinkle of "ta-da"  could perhaps give your self-awareness more permission to sparkle;  to take a risk;  to abandon safety for a moment and be in the moment;  to dream big without a "yeah, but".

Self doubt is part of the complexity of being an artist.  Our pursuit of truth, beauty, honesty,  and revealing of all of that DEMANDS a tenacity and a willingness and ability to look deep within ourselves and our craft to discover and reveal.  We work to uncover more.  We are never done.

Perhaps now,  we can learn something from the delusional ones.  Perhaps a little sprinkle of "ta-da"  when we discover something,  achieve something,  recall something,  journey somewhere,  is allowed once in awhile!

So, as you dream big,  allow the reality to create the boundaries to work WITH you, not against you.  "Yeah but" has no room in a dream.  It has no room in a complex reality either.
I challenge you (and every time I say "you",  I mean "me" too) to change your language with YOURSELF.  "Yeah but" needs to change to "What if..."

Possibilities.  Boundaries to explore within,  and push a little.

Create your sprinkle of "ta-da"!  It's okay to be a little scared,  it's energy waiting to be harnessed!