What is self-confidence for a singer/performer/artist?
And why does it seem so elusive?
Confidence is not delusion. Often, delusion is larger than confidence and is put carefully in place to not be able to see or become aware of the reality of self.
I am musing because as I write all these blog entries, I don't plan them - they are free form and take on a life of their own...I truly am musing in print! So, I am on this journey of discovery with you as you read and I type!
Is confidence a feeling or an action? That is a good question. Or is it something else? "I HAVE confidence" not I "DO" confidence or I "FEEL" confidence. I might FEEL confident because of something I DO or something I HAVE or something I KNOW (which is having I guess...)
So, is confidence a possession that is intangible based on knowing?
I know I can do something, therefore I can possess and hold a confidence in that knowledge, and thus, in that doing?
As you think about this, it certainly gives you something to DO, and in DOING, are you nervous or feeling self-conscious?!?!?! HA! Probably not. Maybe that is the point!
First and foremost, do I know I CAN? As singers, as artists, it is imperative to work from a place of knowledge and of truth in order to create a reality that can be shared. Do we do that? Do we claim that place that is based on knowledge and truth and understanding? Do we claim that place that lies under that knowledge which is often called DESIRE?
If the DESIRE is there to inform the knowing, and the knowing allows us to DO what we are working toward, and the DOING is successful, the possession of confidence of self in the doing is concrete.
What?!?!? Maybe I'm onto something here...
How much do you want to DO what you say you want to do? That is the desire. That is the passion. And what is it that you want to DO? And what are you willing to do for that desire??? Entitlement is not desire. Wanting and not doing is not desire nor passion. Recognizing the difference is key.
If the desire and passion is TRUE and then the ability to then discover how to manifest that passion through the development of craft is tangible and actionable, then the possession of confidence is tangible in the recognition of what the artist has offered, can offer, will offer, and does offer.
"Feeling" confident doesn't just happen! It has to be present because of many other realities. Pretending to be confident is pretending. Sometimes we cannot be confident, but we DO what we say we can do anyway. Isn't that still some level of confidence? Otherwise, how could we do it if we haven't, on some level, found enough confidence to DO something?
I think our culture of singing (there's a connection from yesterday) plays so many mind and spirit games, that it can actually convince us we have NO confidence, when in fact, they fact that we can stand in front of someone telling us we have nothing, we actually have more!!!
MUST you sing? If you MUST then you have desire. If you have desire then you MUST develop that into a tangible craft. If you MUST sing and you CAN sing and you PURSUE your singing, there is confidence interwoven into that DESIRE from the very primordial response to that desire. Your "lack of confidence" is actually not an internal flaw but rather, an external imposition to your artistry!!!
Is this possible? Why not!?!
Perhaps self-confidence is a birthright. Perhaps it is the external isolation of culture nuisance that begins to pick at the confidence that is innately there to allow us to experience. And in that external "picking", we somehow have mis-interpreted it as inner fear, questioning, and lack of confidence.
Why do you feel scared? Fearful? Mortified? Do YOU make yourself feel that way??? Or is it lack of preparation, someone else's response? Is it an internal or an external influence?
If you feel scared because you know you didn't prepare - then that isn't lack of confidence, that is lack of preparation!!! If you didn't prepare and still feel fine, then you ARE delusional!!!
But if you feel scared because you don't know if "they" will like you/respond positively to you, then your confidence is being messed with by an external force that has NOTHING to do with confidence!
Confidence comes from understanding how you do what you do. So do it! Nobody does what you do, and nobody knows what you know. Do what you know. Know it is because you have worked for it. Know your work shows because your desire to present the truth of that knowledge is at the root of who you are.
Nobody and nothing can touch that unless you give them permission. Why would you allow permission to be drawn away from your desire?
Confidence is the absolute knowledge in your understanding and commitment to your desire and your willingness to nurture it and build the understanding and commitment into a tangible craft.
Can you use that? I hope so.
Let's see where that takes us...