Where, What do I sing?

Sunday musings...

Where do I sing?  What do I sing?

These questions come up regularly.  They aren't black and white.  The answers aren't always easy, and they are often fluid.

There are so many variables and being in the right place at the right time;  being ready;  subjective responses and who is hiring and on and on.

What are you in charge of?

More than you think!

You are responsible for your own craft,  and your development of said craft.

You are responsible to learn about the business,  if you are indeed pursuing a career.  Every angle of the business is a different business.  It's up to you to figure that out and find out what the parameters are, and how you negotiate the landscape (or the land mines as the case may be!)

You are always going to get tons of opinions.  Some people will love what you do;  some will be lukewarm.  It's life.  Opinion is only a sampling and can't be given too much weight in the overall aspect of things.  Let it inform your bullshit detector:  as in, are you clear in your own pursuit?  Can you look at the opinion objectively to inform where you are,  what you are trying to do,  with information that is helpful as opposed to delusional or destructive?

Where should you be?

Obviously I can't answer these questions for you.  Nobody can.  Nobody can guarantee you are going to have a career.  Nobody can dismiss you and tell you that you WON'T have a career.

What does having a career mean to you?  It doesn't mean the same thing to everybody.

What do you want?  Why?

What fulfills you?   What gives you joy?   What makes you happy?

These answers may or may not put you on a career track.

Who is telling you "you should",  or "you shouldn't"?

Not everybody has a world class voice.  Not everybody is a prima donna or leading lady.  It's okay.  Theatre is created for MANY MANY different voices and characters.  If everybody is a leading lady, then nobody is!

Theatre is available at every level.  And, guess what?  It can be absolutely fulfilling at every level.

You can find committed, talented,  professional and fantastic theatre from community theatre to fringe theatre to pop up theatre, to small regional houses,  to larger regional theatre to A houses and Broadway.

You can also find absolute shit in all those places too.

There are no absolutes.  If you look hard enough,  you'll find the gems everywhere there is theatre!

Sometimes you'll hear an exceptional voice or see a brilliant actor in a place you wouldn't expect.  Sometimes they are there because they simply want to be;  sometimes they are there because the business has just found them there, or they have found a place there.


Whether you are a leading lady,  a leading man,  a side-kick, a secondary or tertiary character,  a "character" character,  right through to a strong chorus member:  YOU MATTER.

Figuring out where you fit will allow you to thrive in that environment - from genre, to level, to character type & fach and more.

If you realize that no,  you aren't a leading man but you make a great character actor - then figure out what you have to have and have to do to create the best character actor you possibly can!   What does that demand of you in craft and knowledge?  Where are you best seen and how you do you get infant of those people?

You go where your talent takes you.  If you keep hitting walls,  perhaps it's time to simply sit down and have an honest discussion with yourself to review your goals and your dreams.  Adjusting the focus of those goals and dreams doesn't mean you give up!  It means you adjust the realization of where you actually are,  and what you can do to truly inhabit that reality.

Dream big, big for YOU.  Then, breathe in the present. Where are you?  Why are you there? What brings you there?  How do you inhabit that?   Surround yourself with a FEW trusted professionals (professionals - not friends, not family) that will give you a firm anchor and will help you understand where you are now,  what you have to offer,  how you could be seen,  and where.  Nobody knows where that leads.  Only you,  taking the reins,  committing to your passion and your craft,  learning how things are structured and what the business does,  can discover that.

If you find out that you are over the moon and happy creating theatre in small spaces,  and that you play the "second banana" and can NAIL it and it gives you a sense of accomplishment - then that is a WIN!

It isn't always all or nothing.  It is finding out WHO you are,  WHAT you have,  and WHERE it can be realized.  It is claiming the truth of what you DO,  not just what you say you want to do.

If you lead with the truth and authenticity of what you are truly about and what you honestly can do,  then you have a clearer understanding of where you could be, as you pursue where you can play!

Take a few seconds with that one.  It's gotta stay present,  and the honesty of that within you will morph as you and your craft continue to evolve!

Keep asking questions.
Keep your peripheral vision open.
Keep seeing the spectrum of the rainbow,  not right or wrong;  not black and white.
Stay present.
Pursue.
Find joy.
Know the difference between making music,  and making a living making music.
Breathe your passion.
Know the business you are in.
Trust few,  and nod at the rest.
Look at a closed door or a "no" or a "don't" as an opportunity to find another door that opens, a "yes" or a "do it!"

There is no failure if you pursue.

There is no failure if there is passion.

There is no failure if you are content.

There is no failure in falling down,  tripping or trying again!

What you DO with it gives you momentum or stops you.  How you respond will give you more answers than you realize!

Be where you are.  Inhabit it.  Stretch into it.  Enjoy every second so it gives you opportunity to grow!

Don't make excuses.  Just do the work.  Hone the craft.  Gather knowledge and be as informed as you can be.

Where you sing and how you sing and when you sing and what you sing, will then continue to reveal what you want to be bothered with,  and what you can release without angst.

Your success is knowledge.  Be bold to find it, and live it!

#liveyourvoice
#authenticvoice

Inhabiting Your Craft

Happy Sunday!  Happy April!

I was tagged in a post on Facebook this morning...which got me to thinking...

The post was very complimentary: “…XYZ is a wonderful actress…BUT, her voice needs the tender and intelligent ministrations of SEY.  Her voice is in pieces - you could hear her move from one register to the next, and the “high” notes would crack in between.  It was painful to hear.”

I thank the person who wrote this - I am honored.  And it broke my heart. 

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we neglect or reject a portion of our craft, thinking or hoping or praying, that another aspect will make up for it?

It breaks my heart for many reasons.  One is personal.  I have done this.  I have relied on my acting intelligence when my voice was a mess.  I knew it was a mess.  I knew WHY it was a mess.  I was stubborn (my best and worst trait!) and made myself get through.  Did it work dramatically?  Yes.  Did it work vocally?  Oh hell no.  Was it reliable?  absolutely not.  Was I in survival mode only?  Pretty much.

So, I get it.  I get it more than you will ever know.

This is why I am vehement as a teacher to try to instill the absolute NECESSITY of CRAFT.How does one inhabit one's own craft?What does it demand of you?What does it reveal about you?These are the big questions we have to be strong enough,  stubborn enough,  willful enough,  to ask - and then to ANSWER.

It directs us from opposites.  The "actor" feels the story telling is enough to mask the lack of vocal development.  The "singer" feels the voce will supersede any flaws that the lack of acting intelligence may have.

WRONG.Both, and I do mean, BOTH are crucial to truly inhabiting your craft.

It doesn't matter what genre you are in - music theatre, opera and all its manifestations - CRAFT is CRUCIAL in order to fully inhabit what you say you do and who you say you are.

FEAR is a big obstacle.  I get that.  The "but what if..."  can often be truly in the way.  But what if I can't?  Hey,  but what if you CAN?What scares you?  failing?  or succeeding?

So what are you doing to inhabit your craft?  Where are the weak spots?  Are you just doing a patch job, or are you truly looking at it objectively and seeing it fully - big picture - and are you ready to work on the overhaul?

Craft as a singing actor is CONSTANT.  We work,  we discover, we hone, we physicalize,  we gestate,  we incubate,  we "ah-ha!",  we create behavior,  we create consciousness,  we observe,  we step away,  we internalize,  we materialize...

It's a lot.  It is.  I know that.  But we MUST.  We must honor the craft we say we do.  

I see great actors simply not discovering what they can do for a HEALTHY singing voice.  That's a choice.  A choice NOT to.   We see all their commitment into their acting craft,  and even their SPEAKING voices - but then not what is needed to sing with the same level of authenticity.  The study and discovery has to happen in order to create a fully realized characterization.  The voice doesn't have to be amazing.  An actor who sings may not have a beautiful voice,  but they can create beautiful technical behavior to access what they DO have,  and access their talent at will.

Study doesn't just happen when you book a show.  Study happens in the in-between.  However, when you BOOK,  you better be studying in order to have that 2nd set of ears and eyes keeping you healthy in order to do your work!  The maintenance is KEY.  Maintenance cannot happen if the behavior has not been achieved.

The same goes for singers who act.  I have heard incredible voices and as soon as I see them on stage - I can't watch.  They are awkward.  They have no idea what to do with their bodies,  how to move,  how to physicalize their voices with any dramatic choice.  We lose how magnificent the voice is,  because we SEE the awkwardness or the self-involvement with the SOUND and the craft of acting doesn't exist.  A character is not realized.  This isn't inhabiting the fullness of craft either.

With both singing and acting -  you must look at each specifically before you can integrate fully.  You need to discover the physical behavior of EACH in order to embody BOTH.

"It's good enough" my darlings, is bullshit.  It's your stress management talking.  Trust me, been there, done that, have the tattoo.

Inhabiting your craft takes time,  perseverance,  tenacity,  stubbornness,  willingness,  desire,  passion and drive.  

It's not over till it's over.  It will be enough when you aren't over thinking and overcompensating and aren't making excuses for something.  And then,  the muses will reveal what more you can do!Inhabit because you MUST.  

Your craft demands all of you.

Which path is it again?

Happy Mother's Day!

I am not staying very active here as of late,  my apologies.

After awhile,  I feel I am repeating myself, and who needs that?!

However, I suppose certain things need repeating, in slightly different ways, to continue to stimulate the thought process and activate the self in the moment.

So,  which path am I on again?

Oh, right:  MINE.

Wouldn't it be great to KNOW that path a little more fully?

Wouldn't it be great to be excited to be on that path all the time?

Let's be honest:  some days you wonder why you are HERE and someone else is over THERE.  Why are THEY booking and I am not?  Why am I frustrated?  Why can't I do what they are doing?

We all do it;  we've all done it.

First,  acknowledge the frustration, the confusion,  the annoyances.  Acknowledge the un-fair-ness of it all (and as my dad said many times: who said it was going to be fair?)

Get that negative annoyance out of your sphere.  Acknowledge it,  stomp your feet, whine, do what you need to scream at it,  and then let it go.  Release it,  wipe your nose,  take a deep breath and STOP.

Why?

Because that path isn't yours.  When you start looking over at someone else's path - you aren't focused on your own.  When you aren't focused on your own, you are going to miss an amazing and very important discovery that might not come back to you.

Focusing on your path doesn't mean you become a narcissistic asshole.  Acknowledge and respect another's path.  Rejoice in it, in fact.  Be aware of those around you.  And then RELEASE THEM.

Your path is your path and ONLY your path.  Just as theirs is theirs.

Re-focus on where you are.  Not on where you think you should be;  or where you would like to be;  Be exactly where you are.

I don't believe you shouldn't look back to see how far you've come.  I believe you SHOULD be aware and give yourself that credit in order to fully claim the NOW.

How did you get here?  What is here, exactly?  How have you fashioned and shaped the NOW?

What do you know?  What have you learned?  What will you NOT do moving forward, (so it doesn't pull you backward),  and even more importantly,  what WILL you do in order to move forward?

I am list person.  It helps me organize the many tabs open in my mind at all times!

If it helps to write it down or type it out so you can SEE and READ what brings you to this point, then do it.   It can help to simplify and clarity very quickly.  It is often too easy, when frustrated, to paint in a broad & often self-deprecating, brush.  Now is the time to discover the detail of your path and what will pivot you forward.

But acknowledging fully what you have done to get this point from a linear point in time - say, last year at this time - will allow you to be still,  focus on YOU, and re-claim precisely where you are.

By re-claiming,  you acknowledge your path.  Which path?  YOURS.

That path that  is walked by no one but you.  That path that has never been walked before.  You get to discover every nuance, every twist,  every rock and pebble,  and every magnificent discovery!

The Jung quote: "Who looks outside, dreams;  who looks inside, awakens."   speaks to me.  It is always a dance between the two, not one or the other.  The path allows us to dream as we look onward.  Stopping to become aware of where we are,  where we have come from,  awakens us to the possibility,  and to the achievement of NOW.

So, let those around you walk their own path.  Acknowledge they have that responsibility.

Your responsibility is to YOUR path.  It does not need explaining, it simply needs to be acknowledged and claimed.

Dream as you look ahead and awaken as you walk.  See every shift.  Stop to embrace each one - even if it feels like a road block.  That block is on YOUR path.  See it,  and clear it.  Go through it,  around it, under it,  and keep claiming each direction!

Your only competition is your previous self.  The one you released a year ago to be where you are today.   If you have grown,  you have achieved.  Nobody can mimic that or make it theirs.  That is yours and yours alone.

There are no buts,  there just IS.

Dream, awaken,  acknowledge,  breathe,  be still,  move,  re-focus,  create,  and acknowledge that crazy path is YOURS.

You are enough to walk that path.  You are creating it!