Where, What do I sing?

Sunday musings...

Where do I sing?  What do I sing?

These questions come up regularly.  They aren't black and white.  The answers aren't always easy, and they are often fluid.

There are so many variables and being in the right place at the right time;  being ready;  subjective responses and who is hiring and on and on.

What are you in charge of?

More than you think!

You are responsible for your own craft,  and your development of said craft.

You are responsible to learn about the business,  if you are indeed pursuing a career.  Every angle of the business is a different business.  It's up to you to figure that out and find out what the parameters are, and how you negotiate the landscape (or the land mines as the case may be!)

You are always going to get tons of opinions.  Some people will love what you do;  some will be lukewarm.  It's life.  Opinion is only a sampling and can't be given too much weight in the overall aspect of things.  Let it inform your bullshit detector:  as in, are you clear in your own pursuit?  Can you look at the opinion objectively to inform where you are,  what you are trying to do,  with information that is helpful as opposed to delusional or destructive?

Where should you be?

Obviously I can't answer these questions for you.  Nobody can.  Nobody can guarantee you are going to have a career.  Nobody can dismiss you and tell you that you WON'T have a career.

What does having a career mean to you?  It doesn't mean the same thing to everybody.

What do you want?  Why?

What fulfills you?   What gives you joy?   What makes you happy?

These answers may or may not put you on a career track.

Who is telling you "you should",  or "you shouldn't"?

Not everybody has a world class voice.  Not everybody is a prima donna or leading lady.  It's okay.  Theatre is created for MANY MANY different voices and characters.  If everybody is a leading lady, then nobody is!

Theatre is available at every level.  And, guess what?  It can be absolutely fulfilling at every level.

You can find committed, talented,  professional and fantastic theatre from community theatre to fringe theatre to pop up theatre, to small regional houses,  to larger regional theatre to A houses and Broadway.

You can also find absolute shit in all those places too.

There are no absolutes.  If you look hard enough,  you'll find the gems everywhere there is theatre!

Sometimes you'll hear an exceptional voice or see a brilliant actor in a place you wouldn't expect.  Sometimes they are there because they simply want to be;  sometimes they are there because the business has just found them there, or they have found a place there.


Whether you are a leading lady,  a leading man,  a side-kick, a secondary or tertiary character,  a "character" character,  right through to a strong chorus member:  YOU MATTER.

Figuring out where you fit will allow you to thrive in that environment - from genre, to level, to character type & fach and more.

If you realize that no,  you aren't a leading man but you make a great character actor - then figure out what you have to have and have to do to create the best character actor you possibly can!   What does that demand of you in craft and knowledge?  Where are you best seen and how you do you get infant of those people?

You go where your talent takes you.  If you keep hitting walls,  perhaps it's time to simply sit down and have an honest discussion with yourself to review your goals and your dreams.  Adjusting the focus of those goals and dreams doesn't mean you give up!  It means you adjust the realization of where you actually are,  and what you can do to truly inhabit that reality.

Dream big, big for YOU.  Then, breathe in the present. Where are you?  Why are you there? What brings you there?  How do you inhabit that?   Surround yourself with a FEW trusted professionals (professionals - not friends, not family) that will give you a firm anchor and will help you understand where you are now,  what you have to offer,  how you could be seen,  and where.  Nobody knows where that leads.  Only you,  taking the reins,  committing to your passion and your craft,  learning how things are structured and what the business does,  can discover that.

If you find out that you are over the moon and happy creating theatre in small spaces,  and that you play the "second banana" and can NAIL it and it gives you a sense of accomplishment - then that is a WIN!

It isn't always all or nothing.  It is finding out WHO you are,  WHAT you have,  and WHERE it can be realized.  It is claiming the truth of what you DO,  not just what you say you want to do.

If you lead with the truth and authenticity of what you are truly about and what you honestly can do,  then you have a clearer understanding of where you could be, as you pursue where you can play!

Take a few seconds with that one.  It's gotta stay present,  and the honesty of that within you will morph as you and your craft continue to evolve!

Keep asking questions.
Keep your peripheral vision open.
Keep seeing the spectrum of the rainbow,  not right or wrong;  not black and white.
Stay present.
Pursue.
Find joy.
Know the difference between making music,  and making a living making music.
Breathe your passion.
Know the business you are in.
Trust few,  and nod at the rest.
Look at a closed door or a "no" or a "don't" as an opportunity to find another door that opens, a "yes" or a "do it!"

There is no failure if you pursue.

There is no failure if there is passion.

There is no failure if you are content.

There is no failure in falling down,  tripping or trying again!

What you DO with it gives you momentum or stops you.  How you respond will give you more answers than you realize!

Be where you are.  Inhabit it.  Stretch into it.  Enjoy every second so it gives you opportunity to grow!

Don't make excuses.  Just do the work.  Hone the craft.  Gather knowledge and be as informed as you can be.

Where you sing and how you sing and when you sing and what you sing, will then continue to reveal what you want to be bothered with,  and what you can release without angst.

Your success is knowledge.  Be bold to find it, and live it!

#liveyourvoice
#authenticvoice

a little status goes a long way!

A little status can go a long way!

I often "live post" during award shows on FB/Twitter.

This Tony season was no different.  I am always thrilled when something I say resonates with a follower/reader but I wasn't ready for response from a status that night.  Not only was it "liked" over 3K,  it was shared and shared and shared.

The words had obviously hit a chord (no pun intended, and fyi, vocal CORD has no "h" - but I digress...)


Here was the post:


To you, Singers/Actors coming to NYC to pursue theatre who have been told by your schools that if you don't "make it" before you're 25, you are done: do you SEE these Tonys? Do you SEE how the craft takes time? Do you see the actors OVER 50 winning & being nominated that have spent a lifetime pursuing craft, not fame? This is theatre. Relax. Enjoy the journey.



You see, this year's Tonys really showed diversity,  not just in ethnicity, but in AGE.  All the leading & supporting acting categories were won by actors OVER 60!!!!

And, with the exception of Cynthia Erivo,  all the musical winners were not just actor/singers of color, they are all mid30s-mid40s!

So, what was it about THIS status that resonated?  

Was it the fear of not doing enough?

Was it the realization that what may have been told to you,  directly or indirectly,  from an institution you have attended,  or a teacher or a coach,  was wrong or at the least, was misleading?

Or was it the permission to just enjoy the journey of your craft instead of pushing, fighting, and losing the joy?

Honestly,  I have no idea.  I just speak the truth as I see it,  as I feel it,  and as I have experienced it.

That status was, and is the truth.

Perhaps it was simply because it was TRUTH that it resonated.

I believe that all of us just simply need PERMISSION.   We just need simple permission to BE.  When that permission is reinforced by an outside source,  it allows us to breathe,  to smile,  to take a step back and observe.

As a teacher,  I meet many young performers in NYC and elsewhere, with stars in their eyes and dreams in their minds,  hoping for a chance to be on stage.  I love that optimism and that youth-inspired energy!

However, as a performer most of my life and as a teacher for about 30 years,  I know that lack of experience needs to be focused and not trampled.  I know how hard the business is.  I see the hardship,  the expectations,  the fatigue,  the unawareness,  the push,  the try,  the frustration.  I see the glitter rubbed off,  and the stars get rubbed away.

However,  I also see those who then decide they will LEARN what it means to be an actor.  They will LEARN what it means to be a singer.  I see who commits to the process and who does not.  

Committing to the dream is only the first step;  committing to the work to inhabit the dream is quite another and it's not for everybody.  

Committing to craft to "become" takes time,  takes patience,  takes stubbornness,  takes awareness, takes absolute,  unrelenting guts and focus.  

The journey is a lifetime.  It's not a race to see who gets there first.  It's not an expiration date.

Recognition of your presence as an artist in the business,  takes time.  You build that recognition with your work,  with your consistency,  with your growth.

The journey often reveals the time to "recover" and take unplugged time and space for yourself.  "Go go go" does not necessarily make a well developed artist nor a strong craft.

The journey has different speeds and many directions.  It demands you to stay present to allow the speed and direction to reveal itself fully to you.  By staying present,  if that speed and/or direction changes, you won't miss it!

When you buckle up for a flight,  the pilot will come on over the intercom and give you a sense of length and altitude and approximate flight plan;  then he/she says "so sit back, relax & enjoy your flight."

So, before panic completely freezes you,  before "I must" takes over your brain and spirit on a loop that is insanity,  why not take a breath,  and release it?  Why not sit back and observe?  Why not relax into this journey called craft and see where it wants to lead?  

We can choose to feel this choice a burden,  or we can choose to explore the possibilities and enjoy it!

The script is being written as you move into these possibilities;  YOUR possibilities.

Don't write the script before you have fully committed to NOW.  The script is simply a first draft - just commit to re-writes as needed and demanded!  

Theatre isn't going anywhere.  It will be there when your journey leads you to it.  

Theatre is about living, breathing,  morphing,  evolving craft. 

Theatre is about timelessness and mindfulness.  

Theatre is about community.

Theatre has no expiry date.

Theatre simply IS.

The craft of theatre is not fame - it is a sense of inhabiting one's work.

And on Father's Day,  I leave you with  my Dad's words: "We are never finished.  There is always more we can do.  But to be content in our lives & in our work,  THAT  is the key."

Which path is it again?

Happy Mother's Day!

I am not staying very active here as of late,  my apologies.

After awhile,  I feel I am repeating myself, and who needs that?!

However, I suppose certain things need repeating, in slightly different ways, to continue to stimulate the thought process and activate the self in the moment.

So,  which path am I on again?

Oh, right:  MINE.

Wouldn't it be great to KNOW that path a little more fully?

Wouldn't it be great to be excited to be on that path all the time?

Let's be honest:  some days you wonder why you are HERE and someone else is over THERE.  Why are THEY booking and I am not?  Why am I frustrated?  Why can't I do what they are doing?

We all do it;  we've all done it.

First,  acknowledge the frustration, the confusion,  the annoyances.  Acknowledge the un-fair-ness of it all (and as my dad said many times: who said it was going to be fair?)

Get that negative annoyance out of your sphere.  Acknowledge it,  stomp your feet, whine, do what you need to scream at it,  and then let it go.  Release it,  wipe your nose,  take a deep breath and STOP.

Why?

Because that path isn't yours.  When you start looking over at someone else's path - you aren't focused on your own.  When you aren't focused on your own, you are going to miss an amazing and very important discovery that might not come back to you.

Focusing on your path doesn't mean you become a narcissistic asshole.  Acknowledge and respect another's path.  Rejoice in it, in fact.  Be aware of those around you.  And then RELEASE THEM.

Your path is your path and ONLY your path.  Just as theirs is theirs.

Re-focus on where you are.  Not on where you think you should be;  or where you would like to be;  Be exactly where you are.

I don't believe you shouldn't look back to see how far you've come.  I believe you SHOULD be aware and give yourself that credit in order to fully claim the NOW.

How did you get here?  What is here, exactly?  How have you fashioned and shaped the NOW?

What do you know?  What have you learned?  What will you NOT do moving forward, (so it doesn't pull you backward),  and even more importantly,  what WILL you do in order to move forward?

I am list person.  It helps me organize the many tabs open in my mind at all times!

If it helps to write it down or type it out so you can SEE and READ what brings you to this point, then do it.   It can help to simplify and clarity very quickly.  It is often too easy, when frustrated, to paint in a broad & often self-deprecating, brush.  Now is the time to discover the detail of your path and what will pivot you forward.

But acknowledging fully what you have done to get this point from a linear point in time - say, last year at this time - will allow you to be still,  focus on YOU, and re-claim precisely where you are.

By re-claiming,  you acknowledge your path.  Which path?  YOURS.

That path that  is walked by no one but you.  That path that has never been walked before.  You get to discover every nuance, every twist,  every rock and pebble,  and every magnificent discovery!

The Jung quote: "Who looks outside, dreams;  who looks inside, awakens."   speaks to me.  It is always a dance between the two, not one or the other.  The path allows us to dream as we look onward.  Stopping to become aware of where we are,  where we have come from,  awakens us to the possibility,  and to the achievement of NOW.

So, let those around you walk their own path.  Acknowledge they have that responsibility.

Your responsibility is to YOUR path.  It does not need explaining, it simply needs to be acknowledged and claimed.

Dream as you look ahead and awaken as you walk.  See every shift.  Stop to embrace each one - even if it feels like a road block.  That block is on YOUR path.  See it,  and clear it.  Go through it,  around it, under it,  and keep claiming each direction!

Your only competition is your previous self.  The one you released a year ago to be where you are today.   If you have grown,  you have achieved.  Nobody can mimic that or make it theirs.  That is yours and yours alone.

There are no buts,  there just IS.

Dream, awaken,  acknowledge,  breathe,  be still,  move,  re-focus,  create,  and acknowledge that crazy path is YOURS.

You are enough to walk that path.  You are creating it!

A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing...

happy Labor/Labour Day weekend and the gateway to the fall season!

As we embark into a new semester,  a new audition season,  a new performance season,  there are always things to consider,  re-visit,  tweak,  and discover!

Fall is my favorite time of year.  This is really the "new" year for me,  and so I hope re-visiting old topics in new ways will be a way of ushering in that new year!

We've all heard that saying "a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing".

Last week,  I came across a social media post that was a singer's list of "audition to-dos" she has gathered from a masterclass with a director.  She was excited about what she learned,  and you cannot fault her for that.  She wanted to share her knowledge,  which was very generous.

However...

Much of what she wrote down was not accurate:  maybe accurate in certain circumstances,  maybe accurate pertaining to that particular director, or maybe not accurate at all.

Her instinct to share her new-found knowledge was lovely,  however,  that knowledge did not have a context,  and if someone were to take that "advice" literally,  it might have been a horrible mistake.

In this "instant" society we live in,  we literally have everything at our fingertips.  It doesn't make it correct;  just cause it's on the Internet doesn't make it true!

The same can be said for those we "meet" on Facebook or discuss things with on other forms of social media.   It doesn't mean a person is deliberately trying to be deceptive or give your wrong information!  In fact,  often that person is trying to be helpful. 

We must recognize the source:  who is offering this knowledge?  What authority do they have?  Is it first hand knowledge, or 2nd hand,  or a friend of a friend or interpreted from someone's account of something?

I challenged this young and enthusiastic singer to clarify her points and put them in context.  She began to see what I meant:  some of her points were specific to the master class she was involved in and wouldn't have a more universal "truth" the way she accounted it.

Some of her points might have relevance with the director who was offering the master class.

Some had no relevance at all.

And,  all points were HER interpretation,  not a prepared sheet of information from the director. She was making notes based on what said director was saying/or what she THOUGHT he was saying.

Context means EVERYTHING.

By all means, explore!  Ask questions,  read,  share your findings!  However,  when you DO share make it clear to your readers or the people you discuss things with that this is just YOUR interpretation of the events,  not a syllabus created for you by the person offering the information in the first place.

When you read - (including this blog!!!) - know who is offering you the information and what the purpose is.  Does this person have experience and information in which to partake?  Does it make sense to you to listen?  Does it make sense for you to simply observe and take it with a grain of salt, or does it hit you on a gut level and maybe you need to pay closer attention?  And if so,  why pay closer attention?

There is no black & white entirely in the business of show or in the pursuit of craft and artistic development.  Guidelines, perhaps;  a basis of structure,  perhaps;  motivation,  perhaps;  But not "always do this",  "never do this".  As soon as you see that,  there will be someone who says "I like just the opposite".

Perhaps this reveals the answers then.  To every "do this"  there is a "do that".

It is up to YOU the emerging and developing performer to discover and create what works for YOU within the parameters of the business you are pursuing a a career in.

You need to know what you bring into the room.

You need to know how to find your authenticity in voice, and presentation.

You need to know who you are in that moment.

You need to know how to be comfortable in your own skin.

You need to know how own your audition,  your rehearsal process,  being a colleague,  your callback,  your conversations with others in the business,  and more.

YOU need to figure that out.

Nobody can tell you that so-and-so said it so it must be true. 

Any of the knowledge we have is a dangerous thing if we don't open up the context and discover how we inhabit it.  How do we figure that out?  We learn to live it,  and live WITH it.

Knowledge,  gravitas,  presence,  true understanding,  all come from time,  experience and paying attention to small grains of information and discovering where it leads.

There are no tricks;

There are no lists;

There are no magic formulas;

There is work.  There is commitment.  There is time.  There is perseverance.  There is determination.  There is eagerness.  There is questioning.  There is seeking.

Then,  the knowledge deepens and you are able to begin to claim what you do not yet own.

Happy "NEW" year.  Relish the journey.  It is yours and yours alone to enjoy and discover!

What is Authentically YOU?

Sunday musings...

and if you think by clicking on this post, that question is going to be specifically answered for you by me,  you have more work to do and need to give your head a shake!

This week,  a fascinating thread on a forum page was discussing what was required in the audition room - more about how to dress etc.  Of course,  those that have little experience have the most to say,  and frankly,  are generally more than green, but simply incorrect in their reasoning.

If you think you know what an audition panel wants,  you need to go and sit down.

However, as someone who has been on these panels,  has adjudicated competitions for over a quarter of a century, and knows many a conductor,  artistic director, director, casting director, general director and those others who may sit at the table,  I feel I can offer some advice. 

I am amazed at the absolute false information that is either being 'taught' or being misunderstood by young singers.  It saddens me. 

What is told to me over and over again,  is that the panel at the table is really wanting to meet YOU.

They don't want a character.

They don't want pretend.

They don't want phony.

They don't want desperate.

They don't want annoying.

They don't want know-it-alls.

They want YOU.  (If you are any of the above - knock it off!)

So,  how do you find that?

In an audition,  you have a short period of time in which to make an impression.  Preferably, it's a memorable one, and a positive one.

The authenticity of you is crucial.  Some people find that early in their lives and let it evolve;  some people don't;  some people don't even know they aren't reading "authentic" because they are too caught up in what they think they "should" be doing.

Two things need to go hand in hand:  honoring the OCCASION,  and honoring YOUR AUTHENTICITY.

These are not opposites. 

Figuring out your "style" - how you dress, how you behave, how you enter a room - is an extension of who you are, who you are becoming, and how comfortable you are with that.

Some people need to stand close to the wall.  Some people have no walls.  Embrace who you are!  Figure out who that is,  and how you can infuse that self into how you present yourself and how you embody what you sing when you are in that room.

Of course, the 'schooled'  ones believe everything is ultra-conservative,  and must be "by the book".  If that makes you comfortable,  use it.  We always know when you are green in the audition room by how uncomfortable and stiff the entire energy you bring with you, is.

Just because you were taught a certain way,  doesn't make it so.  Did you every ask why?  If you don't have an answer it's not behavior.  If it's not behavior, it's put on.  If it's put on, it's not real.  If it's not real,  it's schmacting.  If it's schmacting,  nobody is going to pay attention.

Honoring the occasion of an audition doesn't mean you have to be rigid, in a 3 piece suit, or a tux or a ball gown.  In fact, please don't.  That's not the place to be ridiculously formal.

It is also not the place to be looking like you should be on the beach at a BBQ either.

Is it really rocket science?  Yeah, sometimes it is.  Why?  Because fear cripples us.  We begin waxing unpoetical in black and whites when we are just scared.  Sadly it comes across as arrogance and puts us in a further bad light.


It takes a long time to learn how to play like yourself.  Paraphrase of Miles Davis.

It takes a lifetime to learn what notes NOT to play.  Paraphrase of Dizzy Gillespie.

So yes,  you might look very "clinical",  and behave very "grad school",  or "conservatory" when you first leave because you haven't figured it out yet. 

What you have permission to do is to step away from the wall and actually claim something more: YOU.

What aspect of you shines?  How do you discover your own personal style, or flair, or personality that will find its way into every audition and every situation of your world?

Auditions,  if you are a performer and want to perform,  are a necessary evil that you need to embrace.  Why shouldn't YOU come into that room?

How does the personality, the voice, the talent,  the spirit of YOU show itself, not just in how you present the music,  but how you present the full package?

If you are comfortable in your own skin,  that is the first step.

Someone could be doing all the "right" things and still be uncomfortable,  because it just isn't them.  Discovering, and experimenting with your own style,  your own touch,  is worth investigating.  It matters. 

Some guys wear a 3 piece suit with ease and some do not.  Some guys can put a suit together with boots and it works;  some cannot.  Some guys can actually make jeans look great in the audition room.  Some cannot. 

Some women can wear open toed shoes and some cannot.  Some can wear pants and it works;  some cannot.  Some can wear an amazingly bright lipstick while others cannot. 

Celebrate the occasion by knowing who you are and what puts you at ease to present yourself. 

Experiment a little. 

Just like taking the time to find the right repertoire to sing,  discover your personality through your physical style by getting creative there too.

There are no absolutes here.  Just remember the occasion and know you have a great deal of space to claim depending on who you are if you remain authentic.  Remember that style should morph and evolve with you as an artist, as a performer and as a human being.

Take the information you are taught,  and as my father told me,  decide what works for you and then go out and claim more to fill it out!

Nobody wants to see you awkward, stiff or constrained.  Nobody wants a paper cutout of the person who was just in the room.  Nobody wants exact replicas.

They want to meet and SEE,  YOU.

So find out who that is.  Dare to make a "mistake" in the practicing of it all in order to find a better way, and a better you.

Wear what makes you feel like you;  not what someone told you that you MUST wear.

Wear a color/colors that make you feel REAL.

Wear fabrics that give you pleasure and let you breathe.

Style can liberate you,  and further enhance the YOU you wish to be and the you you wish them to see.

What do they want?

They want to see and hear, YOU.

Now that is completely up to you.  Take your time.  Discover it,  uncover it,  rejoice in the uniqueness you bring to it!