Another year...

It's just another New Year's Eve...

Another night like all the rest...

(if you know those lyrics,  I will fist bump you!!)

I still refuse to accept "resolutions" on New Year's Eve.  It is the Pathway to Fail.

The entire holiday season for me,  gives me a chance to reflect,  to make decisions,  and to begin to focus and and nurture where I am,  where I have been, where I want to be next.

Learning to leave what is where it is,  is crucial to us as artists.  We are never completely satisfied: always wanting to change, to tweak,  to adjust.  This is a wonderful and maddening trait.

I am learning to let go of language that gets stuck in a loop in my mind.  Language that does not serve me.

"If only..."

"If I could do that again, I would..."

"Why did I let..."

"What was I thinking..."

"I can't..."

"It won't..."

And that's just a few...you can add yours to that list! You know you have them!

Language we use on ourselves,  does not need to be black or white.  As you continue to live on this planet,  you begin to realize that much has to do with the hues of gray as people and experiences and decisions and choice are thrown into the mix! However, we tend to be 'all or nothing' and it doesn't serve us well.

What happens, happens.  We do not control that final outcome.  For those of us who have control freak issues (!!) in portions of our lives,  who are "fixers",  who are little bit Type A...we have a hard time with this.

HOWEVER...how we speak to ourselves,  how we attitude our language in that inner dialogue matters.  THAT we can control.  We have agency over that language.  How we RESPOND to that language is within the grasp of our control and our choice.

So, when you review your year,  as a way of closing that particular book,  acknowledge what you must, but don't dwell on those things you did not do;  did not book;  did not achieve;  We tend to fall into the negative more often than we realize.  Well,  I know I do!  That language can be debilitating and create more anxiety and more confusion.

So, review your year.  Rejoice is what you DID.  What you DISCOVERED.  What you UNCOVERED.  What the roadblocks,  energy blocks RE-CREATED for you.

If you can recognize a barrier,  you can change it.  HOW is up to you.

Then let your authenticity lead you to language that inhabits your NOW;  that gives you power,  that gives you purpose,  that gives you possibility.

Those are the words I am leading with for 2017 starting today:

Power, Purpose, Possibility.

Nobody, and nothing, can take that from you,  unless you relinquish it.

Choose to carry your power, your purpose and your possibility and breathe life into them.

YOUR life.

YOUR choice.

YOUR year.

Let that lead you into your next,  and mingle with the energy of like minds;  find empathy for those minds not like yours; discover how to live the authenticity you are claiming just by DOING LIFE.

You truly have what it takes to claim your authenticity and all that manifests.

It means action.

It means reflection.

It means discovery.

One beautiful resonant sound at a time.

What scares you?

There is so much in our world that is frightening - more now than ever.

This sense of fear, of disbelief, of hopelessness,  often renders us mute or stuck or simply unable to take a breath or a step or know what to do next.

Many of us have to learn how to respond to world in a brand new way:  a way that is foreign,  a way that requires us to learn new skills quickly in order to make sense of our purpose and our usefulness for that world in our own little corner.  We have to figure out why it matters, if it matters at all,  and what we have to contribute and what we have to DO to contribute to it.  It doesn't feel 'right',  it doesn't feel 'normal',  it doesn't feel 'enough'...

As you know,  this is not a political blog,  but how interesting it seems, that as I write the above paragraph,  it can be talking to you the artist and you the performer as you navigate the culture of the business,  should you want to pursue having a career.

What scares you?

I mean it!  What scares you?

What scares you about actually developing craft?  What scares you about developing your artistry so you can summon your talent at will?  What scares you about the business?  What scares you about walking through that door and saying "hey this is me,  and this is what I do"?   What scares you about sending out that application?  That submission?  What scares you about walking into that audition?  What scares you about getting that callback?  Not getting that callback?  Opening that email?  Not getting an email?

What scares you about walking into a class?  into a lesson?  What scares you about booking a project?  What scares you about practicing?  What scares you about taking a step outside your comfort zone?  What scares you about finding out what you can actually DO well and release  what you can't?  What scares you about discovering what you NEED to do?

Okay - you may be saying, "Pfff Susan I am not scared."  Fine.  Choose another word then.

Change "what scares you" to "what's stopping you";  change it to "how are you responding to"  or "what motivates you"  or "what stops you".

It all stems from the same place:  YOU.

Denial or dismissal or procrastination (and I have done ALL of it,  so don't with me...I see you!)  is a form of stress management.

When you feel like something is giving you anxiety,  a small or large panic attack,  an opportunity to hide or turn away,  there's your fear right there.

Sometimes what scares you,  is the fear itself.  The fear of failure?  The fear of actually succeeding?  And what is THAT anyway?  Succeeding in what?  Succeeding with what?  Succeeding where?  Succeeding how?

Who is that in the mirror and how do I come to terms with HER or HIM in a way that makes me feel like I am DOING something every day;  not for the business, not for the craft,  but for my place in it.

Your place matters.  The thing is,  you have to create it by being there.  You have to create it, hone it, nurture it,  stand your ground in it,  commit to it.  You have to acknowledge each emotion,  and claim them all as you have strength to.

You have to make that place yours and take it with you.

Think about being on tour:  so many of us create "home" around us in a hotel room - photographs, "stuff" that only matters to us,  that gives us a sense of belonging somewhere.

This is what brings us back to center.  This is what allows us to have a place to respond from and a place to return to.

So,  what scares you?  Do you have a place - your place - within yourself that you can take with you into every situation,  every possibility,  every sudden change?

Does it allow you to meet each situation head on?

More importantly does it reveal to you,  and are you aware when the excuses begin or when you feel the fear seep through and make you back away?

It's okay to be scared.  It's okay to be anything.

Claim it,  and discover how you can DO in spite of it,  despite it,  with it,  beyond it.

One step.  One idea.  If it feels too overwhelming,  stop and sit down and breathe and BE WHERE YOU ARE.  

When we are not where we are,  due to denial,  fatigue,  unawareness, delusion,  we cannot see where we are going,  what we are doing,  who we want to be,  or how we want to be seen.

What scares you?

Take a breath.  Where are you right now?  Claim that.  Stay there as long as you need to in order to make that real for you.  Take that place with you:  from one activity to another and be aware of it.

You are in charge of YOU.  Nobody's the boss of you - except YOU.  So what do you have to say?  What do YOU have to do?  Want to do?  Need to do?  Want to be bothering doing?

You can choose to be scared and do it anyway.

You can choose to be frustrated and find a new way to get there.

You can choose to stop.  You can choose to find motivation somewhere.  You can choose how you feel and how you respond,  not based on the outside but based on YOU.

As human beings and as artists we have this miraculous, wonderful and frustrating as hell thing called CHOICE.  It allows us to respond in ways more creative and magical than we allow ourselves to,  including making another choice!

So, what scares you?
Sometimes it's clear,  sometimes it's not.  Meet it head on,  find it,  and make a choice about what you will do with it.  Your fear.  Your choice.

Burning Bridges & CHOICE

Sunday musings...

What is burning a bridge really???

I hear that a great deal  "well I have to say yes,  because if I don't,  I might burn that bridge."

That bridge to where???

Are you even planning on taking that bridge anywhere?  Does it lead to anything stronger, more helpful,  more positive than the side you are on right now?

You have the right to say "no" to a project, for the right reasons.

Simplify WHY you say YES to  a project:  1.  The role/show is something you truly want to do  2.  The company/director/tour is something you really want to work with  3.  The money is just too good to say "NO" to   4.  The project intrigues you and you simply have to be involved

The "YES" can be any of the above, or combination of the above.

But when do you say "no"?

You don't have to say "yes" to everything that comes down the road!!  You don't want to become known as the entitled brat who turns everything down because she/he is waiting on that Broadway contract, or that chance to sing at the Met.  Guess what?  You gotta build that resume FIRST,  AND your reputation.

Saying "no" doesn't, in itself,  give you a bad reputation.  Your attitude, your work ethic, your preparedness, your interaction with others - these things count.

Sometimes,  knowing a situation is simply not a healthy one is a reason for "no".  Sometimes,  you have worked with/done that,  and really need to move on.  You don't need to give a REASON to say no,  but you can simply be cordial,  thankful for the opportunity,  but due to other commitments, you are unavailable.

Trust your gut.  If it doesn't feel right,  chances are something isn't right.  Now, granted,  it takes time to truly develop the finesse of the gut in the business of show - but even as a young performer,  you can trust your instincts.

Know your worth.  Even if a project isn't paying, or isn't paying much,  if a company still treats you with respect,  and recognizes the contribution you are making,  doesn't mean you have to say "no".

You, and only you,  can decide how to establish your business ethic,  and your boundaries.

If you are concerned about burning a bridge,  start by defining that bridge.  Does it lead anywhere other than what you may turn down?  If so,  what?  If so, where?   What is your reason for turning down the gig?

Saying "no" doesn't have to be a public performance.  In fact,  it shouldn't be.  It should be discreet, filled with discernment and measure,  with respect to all parties involved.

From a personal perspective,  "no" can be because of health,  energy,  conflicts,  life...Sometimes things are just too difficult to manage.  If your gut hesitates,  figure out why and then make a decision.  The choice is ALWAYS yours.  How you act on the choice is what has consequences - good or bad.

Ultimately,  the "burning of a bridge"  isn't about saying "no".  It is about HOW you say "no".

Graciousness and diplomacy in your business is so very important.  If you treat others with the respect you would want to be treated with,  you simply cannot burn a bridge.

If your attitude is entitled,  then you are not thinking of anything else but you,  and not in a positive light!

Make your decisions based on YOUR career.  YOUR direction.  Make your choices based on the bridges you want to take, and cross,  not on the possibility of burning one.  That will always make you look over your shoulder.  You aren't going there.

Move forward.  Be true to your commitments.  Say "no" when it is necessary.  Say "yes" when it makes sense.

Make the decision,  and begin the next step.  Rehashing choices makes us chase our tails,  and our path gets tied up,  and we may miss the next bridge.

Claim your possibility.  Claim your reason.  Claim your choice.

Leave those bridges alone,  until they are directly in front of you - and again,  CHOOSE to cross, or not.